Thursday, March 3

Change Is Inevitable.

The Memory on my laptop is full.

I have not downloaded the pictures off my phone for weeks because I have no room. I am not sure what the correlation to downloading pictures is to me actually writing on my blog, but somehow there is a direct link. Maybe I only write when I can add pictures to the posts because thats how my brain works best, with pictures. Maybe I use them as a filler. Not sure now, Ill think on that one a little more.

I finally get around to blogging when I receive at least 3 text or messages from strangers on social media. That's when I know it's been too long. I use to write when I got 1 message....that's too much pressure now. lol

It has been a busy few months.

I don't know how to write about mom.

I am literally sitting here starting paragraphs, staring at my computer, then deleting the paragraphs. Im frustrated, angry and feel alone in these feelings. So, for now it's only facts.

So the facts are: She just had a PAT test. Having the PAT test allows mom to start Amino therapy after one round of chemo.
The PAT test shows speck in her lungs now too.
So dates to start the Amino therapy are what Mom and Steve are waiting for.

I hate that I use to be an EMT. I hate that I ask questions and I hate that I am never satisfied with small amounts of information. I wish I wasn't like this. I want to be like everyone else.

Other things that have happened in the last little bit. Rob Grant is coming back to NOW radio. We  start working together again next week. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but It should be fun. Hard work covering the drive again for the next 6 months, but fun.

It has been a huge 8 months of growth for me. Having Chris with me during this time has been so helpful. Change is the one thing that is always a guarantee.

Speaking of change.... Jason asked me a question, and I said yes.
We will talk about that more later.

It's been a long day, and this blog post has taken almost 2 hours to write.

So, I will call it a night and try to write more tomorrow.


I am grateful for my time working with Chris. He is the kindest man you will ever know. He has taught me so much over these 8 months. He has been so patient and understanding during all the hardships I have had to deal with.

I am grateful for the warm weather.

I am grateful for Downton Abby and the escape it gives me late at night.



Leah M said...

Oh Jo, what a LOT on your plate! I am so very impressed that you are still getting up and breathing in and out all day long. You have such highs and lows in your life right now, I hope you are taking the time to enjoy the highs and happy times and not get too down in the lows. I'm sure your mom wants to revel in the happy of your life too!
Take care of yourself and I'm glad you're blogging, even if its hard!
Love you!!

Unknown said...

Change,good or bad is change.It's scary!Its taken me 15 minutes to write this....*not mocking;only realizing I could never write a blog* sending you strength to move past your fears, nervousness and enjoy each new moment.while cherishing the old ones ��

Ken said...

It looks to me, that with all the things that weigh heavy on you, there's also some really good things happening on your list of changes.

Don't forget to take some time to focus on those as well.

Also, that little column of posts to the left of what you've written is by far, more prolific than what I've been able to contribute to 2016. Not to add any pressure or anything, but when I see people I'm fond of writing their blogs, it inspires me to attempt to write something as well.

So there, you're an inspiration! :)

Shayne Kawalilak said...

I did not realize that you were waiting for queues when to write... I have a question for you though, how many drafted posts do you have? I enjoy reading your posts and find that I sometimes have to spend 4 hours purging drafts... at least once a season it seems... and i was wondering if you had the same problem.