Thursday, October 22

Not Too Sure What To Title This One.

I am half a bottle of red in already and I still have no idea how to write this.

Yes, that does seem like a bit much for a week night...judgment accepted. But I haven't filled my prescription yet that I got yesterday for Ativan from the walk in clinic I went to because my doctor doesn't have an opening until December. I have never taken Ativan, until this week, but I just couldn't go through another few months of panic and anxiety attacks while trying to work and parent. It's been a long summer already, and apparently it's not over yet.

My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer 3 days ago.

Let me just start by saying how sorry I am if you know my mom and this is how you are finding out.

Let me also follow that with, do not google anything related to Pancreatic Cancer. That's never a good idea.

Googling pancreatic cancer now falls under the umbrella of bad choices. Along with driving blindfolded, getting out of the car to take pictures of the bear on the side of the road in Jasper and Banff, and actually writing your pin number ON your bank card. Immediate, but it's really fucking stupid.

I have spoken/texted my parents more these last 3 days then I normally do in an entire year. I will also be going out to BC with my brother next week to accompany mom and Steve to her specialist appointment in Kelowna.

I wasn't sure how I felt about writing all of this. I haven't been blogging much lately, but my mom gave me her blessing in hopes that it might help someone else. If you knew my mother, you know how incredibly private she is, so, this will not be taken lightly by me.

So, there it is. Blog 1 of this next journey.