Thursday, December 24

Booze And Plywood

I'm up really early again. I have no idea why, its the curse of this place. I can't seem to sleep.
I am not sure whats worse, not being able to sleep, or the jolt that wakes me up when I have slept a little. I forget where I am and wake with panic.

The days for mom are busy, but not with traditionally busy like things shopping or baking. Things I remember from my childhood around Christmas. Moms days are busy documenting pill intakes and what kind of juice did she drink last. Her supplements and searching on the internet for ideas and new recipes to make juices better/tastier/more cancer fighting.

There are alarms and reminders for mom. The goal is 13 glasses of juice a day...She can manage 3. She goes for walks. Correction, a walk, outside to the property line or to the neighbours 2 houses down, then we need to turn around. That exhausts her. Watching this exhausts me and hurts my heart.
My mother is annoyingly fit and constantly bouncing around, this regression in her abilities only tears at my heart more.

Yesterday I needed to get out of the house for a bit, so I went exploring Chase to do some last minute Christmas shopping. It was frustrating beyond words, I have clearly become accustom to city life. My list was thrown out the window when I realized that there was only a hardware store to shop in.
This year everyone is getting booze. Booze and plywood.



 I am grateful for my kids. I miss them terribly and can't wait to see them.

I am grateful for this body of mine. I have not said the kindest things about it sometimes. But its strong, and healthy. I will say and think kinder things about it from now on. It has and continues to serve me well.

I am grateful for these beautiful giant snowflakes falling right now. It's grey out, but slightly romantic.

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