Sunday, October 25

It's Clear During Stressful Times I Am A Competitive Yet Lazy Domestic Goddess!

So.. I have learned that I am not the best house keeper when I feel stressed or sad.

Lets be honest, I am not winning any awards at the best of times, but feeling a little down does give me a more confident excuse to not be at the top of my game with laundry and dishes! The children don't mind, they are so wonderfully empathetic, resourceful and adaptable! Especially this one!




Yup, that is a pot he is eating cereal in. I told him I could get him a bowl. He assured me that this was actually better, "not only is it bigger mom, it has a handle too!"

Gawd I love these kids! 

We also made pancakes the other night and, as it often does.. things got a little competitive around here. 
I made this one!

yup, I am feeling a tad smug. Now I need to go lay down and not do the dishes from this meal.

Today:

I am grateful that I leave in 2 days to see mom and Steve. I feel helpless and useless here. Not that there will be much for me to do when I get there, but I am hoping the feelings of panic ease up a little once I am physically closer to mom. I text her and Steve a lot during the day. It's good to hear what is going on..it makes me feel helpful in a completely selfish way. I want to feel like I am a part of everything.

I want to be grateful for learning more about myself during this and how these experiences (like panic and surges of paralyzing fear) will help me be more kind and understanding to others. But I am not there yet. I am still too angry and most of the time it takes all my energy and what little focus I do have to not just yell and swear at everyone I come into contact with.

So... I am working on the gratitude's.

J



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