Saturday, October 31

Nora Turns 8

A few weeks ago, this tiny creature turned 8. 

I am struggling with how to raise kids during this stage of life. The part where all they need is food and water and sleep was easy. It was exhausting, but easy...relatively. This stage where they learn about self, relationships, happiness, and develop their moral compass of right and wrong and what they believe. 
It is hard to teach children things you yourself don't feel you have mastered yet, and are still learning. 
It's hard to be a guide in how to manoeuvre parts of life that you are just now experiencing for the first time too. 

Often times when the kids have a birthday, I write them a letter of advice. 

Pfft!! This year there is no advice. 
I have no advice to give, because I am on a sharp learning curve myself. I can not give you what I don't have myself. 

SO this year, this year I will make you promises. 


I promise to listen more than I talk. 

I promise to make sure you know you have a voice. I joke that I am a mother of dragons...but I am and I want you to know that is a wonderful thing! What you have to say matters. 

I promise to make sure you spend as much time with the women in our family as possible. You will learn a lot from them. I have aunts and cousins, a sister in law and grandmother...and of course mom, that you need to spend time with because you will grow to be wonderful like them. You need to learn from them and absorb everything they are willing to teach. 

 I love your laugh little one!

You already have a strong sense of self that I admire.

You never care what others think and that is a wonderful thing!

Happy Birthday Tiny Girl! I adore you! 

Love Mom


I am grateful I had children. I am grateful I was made a mother and get to have this growth. This experience is not granted to every woman, and I recognize that and do not take this responsibility lightly. 

I am grateful Nora looks like my mother. I see our women in her face and it brings me such happiness that there will be one of us here in the years to come. 

I am grateful for you little girl. You are joy!  

Thursday, October 29

It's Time To Go Home.

BC in the fall is amazing. I love this place. 
I hate the reason I finally came out here this time of year, but I have no control over it. I accept that this is something I have no power over. The only thing I have control over is how I respond to it all. The next month is going to be along one, and a lot of my involvement will be from a distance. 

Here are some of the leftover photos from the last few days. 

The lake is amazing, its chilly and brisk but the colours are stunning! 
The trees are my most favourite part of the fall. 

Adult children driving with parents, ALWAYS a good time!

We stopped at a place called Log Barn and it was such a happy place for me after a long and emotionally hard day. I really enjoyed playing with the goats.

I spent about 5$ in quarters buying corn to feed my new little friends. 

One night we had a drum night with my brother. My mom really got into it.

This morning I woke up at WAY TO EARLY am and did boot camp with a room full of older ladies, and got SPANKED!!!

My moms friends.

Today, Dawson and I went over and visited with our grandparents.

 We went out for a walk with them, getting out and listening to their stories is always interesting. Dawson is way better with them then I am. I love this picture of Daws and Grandpa. They have always had such a good relationship. Grandpa didn't remember me, but he always remembers Dawson, and I am so thankful for that.

I just love my brother.

While I was walking with Grandma, I pulled my phone out to take this picture. She saw it and was so excited at the lovely picture and asked, "when did you take that?"
lol, "right now grandma"

She doesn't understand selfies.

My uncle came out from Vancouver to visit with mom.

 Such a beautiful day.

This morning walk with my mom.


I am starting to feel more grateful. More ready for what's to come.

Wednesday, October 28


So... here it is

This is November for my mom. This is what a doctor spent an hour explaining to us today.

I'll do my best to interpret it for you. November involves a 17 mm tumour that is a giant pain in the ass, so blood work has been taken, my mom will need to swallow a garden hose to get a biopsy and then if this 17 mm bitch is still there, might involve a whipple.

That sounds awful but she is made of the good stuff, so she CAN do it. She WILL do it and then this will be a moot point.

My mothers surgeon is easily the nicest man I have ever met in medicine. He is exactly who we would have drafted to be on our team if we had to pick and so this WILL be the outcome we desire.

I laid in bed with my mom tonight after we all watched survivor and talked about our day. I do not remember the last time I stayed up late and chatted with her like that,  maybe I was in high school. There were a lot of tears and a moment that I will cherish forever.

She told me she was grateful Dawson and I were here, and that she felt loved, and that is all that mattered.

Then she made me promise to be in the moment,  and to go to boot camp with her in the morning because she loves working out.

So I need to get my drunk ass to bed, so I can get said ass handed to me by a sick 61 year old woman in the morning.


My mom made me promise that she would give me her strength if I gave her mine.