Sunday, May 19

Italian Fountains And Happiness.

When I was in Italy for the grand total of 24 hours a few years ago I got to see the amazing Fontana Di Trevi. After walking down back streets in rather humid weather for what felt like forever, I finally arrived.

The myth at the Fontana is if you make a wish (as it is with most fountains) and throw in money, your wish will come true. I sat at the edge of the fountain for a while deciding what I wanted to wish. When I was confident I had figured out the perfect wish and the perfect wording for this wish (I had to make sure it was perfect because I didn't know when I would ever be back to do it again) I grabbed my coins and tossed them in.

My wish was that Drew would find happiness first. I wanted him to find someone and make a life that he was happy with. I wanted my children to be happy too, then when all that was settled, I wished that I would find happiness too. Drew and R are due with a baby in a few weeks, he looks happy and healthy. We all get along well, there is no tension. We communicate about the children respectfully and peacefully. It is exactly where I dreamed we could get this.

I have never wished for life to be easy, or without stress and problems. That is silly and impossible, but I do believe that happiness can still be found amongst life's garbage.

Yesterday I was so happy. I have been happy for a while now. Yesterday during a BBQ at my house with friends and children all around I could see how happy my kids are. The house was filled with food, music and laughter and when the day was ending I saw this comment in my inbox from a post I had put up on my blog...

Joelle, I was looking at the pictures that you've been posting lately. (especially last post) They seemed different to me, and I had decided that you seem to appear to have a greater sense of happiness about you in them. Not that you didn't appear happy in previous pictures, the new ones are just different.

I'm glad that you're feeling that you're in a better place. :)

I am happy Ken. I know what happiness is, and to be honest I dont know If I really understood it completely before. I know happiness has nothing to do with money and happiness can be found even when life is challenging and is present when I am single. I am in charge of my happiness. 

Thank you for noticing what I have been working so hard on. 


I am grateful for learning to truly live on a budget. 

I am grateful for sprinklers from walmart on hot days that little children jump and play in. 

I am grateful for how good cold beer tastes on hot days.