Wednesday, April 24

My Very First Show...And I Almost Died.

It finally happened. I finally ran the board all by myself.

Go on...take a listen.

https://soundcloud.com/robandjoelle/the-end-of-the-rob-and-joelle


None of this was scripted. I had no idea he was going to leave. Looking back on it now, I should have thought about it, but I figured he knew how little I clearly knew, there would be no way he would leave me...

ooh, maybe he would.

All I kept thinking was, just breath, you can do anything if you had to. My hands were shaking so bad I had to rub them and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I was breathing to a four count like I make my Doula clients and I was trying to not throw up.

I was getting some support via text from listeners, which helped a lot.


After it was all done and Rob walked back into the studio it was like all the emotions I had felt and held back just came bursting out in relief and I just started crying! My heart was beating so fast from adrenaline it felt like I was doing an emerg call again. Like I had just worked a code and we were all just wired.

I never want Rob to leave again, but man does it ever feel good to know I can do it if I had to. That's how I learn best...just plug my nose and dive right in.

Today:

I am grateful for the support of my dear friends.

I am grateful for Rob.

I am grateful that nothing blew up.

J