Sunday, September 8

Back To Who I Once Was..Kinda

I went and changed my name the other day.

It's an interesting process this divorce stuff. It takes what feels like forever to get through all the legal stuff. It is uncomfortable and painful learning to adjust to being alone and starting over. It feels like the fighting and hard feelings will never end.

But then it's over. One day you no longer feel hurt or angry, and you have come out the other side. Mildly cracked and slightly bruised. But for the most part, in one piece. Stronger and better.

The last of my transformation happened this past week. I returned to my maiden name.
I did briefly consider making up a new last name, Butler was a front runner but I worry Gerard might not have liked it much. Reynolds was clearly a contender, and I danced on the idea Beckham but I think that tiny spice girl looks like a bit of a scrapper. I even thought going with Grant just to piss off Rob (the guy I work with)..but in the end I went back to my good old German roots.

The awkward part was after I paid my 22$ (the least expensive part of getting divorced) you have to sign your new name right then for your license. It felt weird writing that name again, but good at the same time.

It feels better to me. The next time I have to sign papers at work, they will be signed by me. Entirely and completely me.

Today:

I am grateful the three of us (Drew (my ex and his girlfriend R and baby Emmett) and I  can go to meet the teacher night and do it comfortably and with a few laughs.



I am grateful for men who do what they say, and say what they mean.

I am grateful for good teachers and an exciting new year.

J

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