Tuesday, April 2

Rob's Dating Pep Talk And Speed Dating.



Everyone should have a Rob in their life. 
I can honestly say that sentence is not something I would have written a year ago. To say we didn't really hit it off in the beginning would be a bit of an understatement. It's an unusual situation being thrown together with someone you don't know,who also has a strong personality, learn about each other all the while trying to be entertaining while you figure out how to maneuver and mesh the personalities. We have come a long way Rob and I, from fighting over chips (still the best story of all time) to now looking forward to catching up after days off. 

Rob has observed a lot that has gone on in my life over this last year. Spending over 40 hours a week together he sees and hears almost everything, and because of how good of friends we have become I appreciate his opinions on the things he sees. I even ask his advice sometimes. I don't always take it, but I listen to him and let me tell you, everyone should have a Rob in their life. 

 Rob has watched me go through a few challenges in our time together and has seen what it has done to me and in the last month or so has become a bit of a rock for me. Rob has been giving me some huge pep talks about what I deserve in this life and what I should and should not accept. Rob reminds me often that I am worth so much more then I am getting and  give myself credit for. He has even given me a hug when it got really bad and all I wanted was to cry.  

Everyone should have a Rob in their life. Rob sometimes gets mad when I allow myself to be treated badly by a guy and will make me laugh when I need it. Rob has become a huge self esteem booster for me. Who would have ever guessed?

So with Robs encouragement  I decided to give this dating thing another try, but this time go into it with a different outlook and with no expectations. "Have fun" he says, " go out for coffee and see if he deserves your time before going out again." 

He even gave me this car analogy the other day that I am like a Porsche, and "would you let some bum ride in a Porsche?" (not intended to be as dirty as it might come across) "No!" Rob says, "you only let those who are good enough and will take care of that kind of car drive it. (again don't be dirty) 

(I am not saying I think I am a Porsche...but I think you all get what he was trying to say.) 

So, with my ego padded and feeling like I could try this again and maybe even have a little fun doing it I signed up for speed dating. 

I was nervous but it was a lot of fun. There was only 3 guys that showed up (there was suppose to be 12) and I really liked how easy it was to chat for 5 minutes and it shocked me how fast I could tell if this had potential of going further or not. When it was over and I was headed home I felt like I had just overcame this huge confidence obstacle.  I was brave and I put myself out there and men seemed to have been interested. It was a nice way to ease into it again. I met a doctor an engineer and a man in sales for oil stuff. 
Nice guys who seemed like quality men. Not matches for me, but I was starting to see what Rob was talking about and even more importantly I was feeling it too. 

It has been fun chatting with guys again, and I look forward to a few dates that are coming up, and I can't wait to tell Rob all about them. 



Today:

I am grateful to have such an amazing support system in my life. 

I am grateful for feeling strong enough to brave this dating thing again. 

I am grateful for Jenna, who allows me to opportunities to date and know my children are well cared for and loved. 

J





3 comments:

Leah M said...

I am soooooo very glad that you have Rob in your life, and that he gives you confidence and tells it like it is. Yay for you and Rob!

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear J.
You were a bit frustrated and needed a break.
Don't put any pressure on yourself such as "I must find the one" or "He's not quite what I want but I'm going to change things about myself to please him at my own expense"
As I told you before, and now as Rob has stated. Have fun with it.
You'll meet lots of interesting people. Some you'll laugh with, Some you'll laugh at(probably a lot actually).
But keep an eye for the one that brings about laughing at yourselves.


Crazy C

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you Joelle. It is funny but I didn't care for Rob at the beginning but as time has passed there has been a shift in my perceptions of him. The one thing that has slowly been revealed is that Rob is like an onion with many layers. He has a lot more depth than I had originally perceived.

As for dating, I look at it as a chance to meet new people. Some will be one time encounters, some will become friends and some may even become lovers. Just remember that it is the journey and not the means to an end. I don't look at dating as a means to an end (the end being a lasting relationship); instead it is a social outing that may bring the opportunity to meeting someone with whom I may develop a lasting and deep relationship. As a goal oriented individual, it took me awhile to realize that the goal of dating wasn't to find "the one" but to provide the opportunity to put myself out there. I must admit, the best results for me have occurred when I was pursuing my own interests. Cycling, book clubs etc. The chance encounters usually work the best but if you don't put yourself out there you are not going to get those chances.

Best of luck. Enjoy. Be happy. Live in the moment. Love your Blog and your radio show.