Wednesday, April 24

My Very First Show...And I Almost Died.

It finally happened. I finally ran the board all by myself.

Go on...take a listen.

https://soundcloud.com/robandjoelle/the-end-of-the-rob-and-joelle


None of this was scripted. I had no idea he was going to leave. Looking back on it now, I should have thought about it, but I figured he knew how little I clearly knew, there would be no way he would leave me...

ooh, maybe he would.

All I kept thinking was, just breath, you can do anything if you had to. My hands were shaking so bad I had to rub them and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I was breathing to a four count like I make my Doula clients and I was trying to not throw up.

I was getting some support via text from listeners, which helped a lot.


After it was all done and Rob walked back into the studio it was like all the emotions I had felt and held back just came bursting out in relief and I just started crying! My heart was beating so fast from adrenaline it felt like I was doing an emerg call again. Like I had just worked a code and we were all just wired.

I never want Rob to leave again, but man does it ever feel good to know I can do it if I had to. That's how I learn best...just plug my nose and dive right in.

Today:

I am grateful for the support of my dear friends.

I am grateful for Rob.

I am grateful that nothing blew up.

J

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You did so well; it was impressive!!!!!

Leah M said...

Wow! I just listened to your sound clip, and you were fabulous! Totally thinking on your feet with the craziest thing you've ever done bit, brilliant!
Its only gonna get easier and better from now on, right?
XO Princess Leah