Monday, December 30

Happy Birthday My Baby Boy!

Happy Birthday Ethan!!!

12 years old today you are you are!

You are such a handsome young man. We are at the threshold of some big change. You are almost a teenager and I the mother of a teenager. We are not always going to see eye to eye, we are experiencing that already. I promise I will do my best to be as fair as possible, but I can't be your friend during this time. I will walk along beside you and do my best to help guide you along your journey, and it is your journey not mine.. but I will need to be your parent and that will cause conflict sometimes. I promise to do my best to not hold grudges when you say or do mean things and I will be quick to forgive but trust is a big part of this next chapter for us. In the end, we will make it through. I will have more gray hair and you will be taller than me soon. We will grow together. Please do your best to remember I have never parented this age yet, I didn't get instructions with's all on the job training. But I trust, if we keep laughing together and talking like we do, we will be just fine.

Happy Birthday my boy, I love you!



I have been crying all day and writing this is only making the tears come faster. My baby is 12 and I will never have another baby to hold. This stage of my life is over and I can hardly remember it. It feels like it was so long ago yet when you are in the baby stage it feels like it will never end. I will never feel a baby kick inside me again.. or smell that new baby smell on my skin when I wake early in the morning to feed it.

I am grateful for the memories that we have made together.

I am grateful for my beautiful children.

I am grateful for dinner with my boy who makes me laugh and when he laughs its from his belly and makes his head go back.

Sunday, December 29

Christmas Is Over.. Out With The Old, In With The New.

I have already taken down the decorations, I am not too sure why but I wasn't really feeling Christmas this year. I didn't do a single drop of Christmas baking either (thank you Safeway for your baking platters) I could have just done without it this year.

The actual day was delightful, I spent the afternoon and night with the kids. I got an entire week off with them too, which was fantastic! Now we are getting ready for Ethan's birthday tomorrow.

I haven't written much lately, to be honest I have had lots to say, but I have been a little timid and scared to write. I have been afraid of receiving another nasty message from whoever it is that sends them. I have been cautious about sharing much of anything. Not that there has been much to share...still not doing so hot with the dating thing, my pants are feeling tight after this past week of gluttony and I cant seem to sleep.
But I have decided I am sharing anyway.

I have decided whoever you are, you don't get to take away my voice. I have worked to hard to find it again. Nothing is worth losing it again.

This next year is going to be a good one. This year is going to involve a lot of goals being accomplished and I am going to write more. I am going back to what I started with, simple story telling.
2014 is going to be a great year.

I am looking forward to a new start to everything. New adventures and new laughs. I can't wait to see what is waiting for me this year!


I am grateful for a week off with my babies, we have had so much fun!

I am grateful for a clean room and organized closets.

I am grateful for a beautiful family.

Monday, December 16

Simple Genius and Christmas Parties

The Apple TV remote is ALWAYS getting misplaced! I am not exactly sure how other houses manage without losing it but it has become a daily event to call everyone upstairs for an impromptu search party. Until the other night when Seth had a stroke of Genius.


I am grateful for the semi nicer weather. It was nice to see the sun yesterday. It's been a while.

I am grateful for Fusion Salon. You guys always do such a nice job and make me feel so beautiful. The night of my staff work party this weekend was so fun, Thank you!!! I loved it!

Rob & Joelle asshattery. 

Gawd I love you lady!! 

Rob lip syncing to Gowan. 

Rachel's Ginge telling us a story about something (He was actually saying how beautiful he thinks she is when shes pregnant) it was nauseatingly adorable! are a good friend. I am sorry this night we have every year always seems to end the same!!! hahahah but we made it home alive and to be honest, there were 2 times I didn't think that was going to happen. 

I am grateful to get to work for a company that treats us so well.


Friday, December 6

Christmas Shopping For Myself

I was out shopping for Christmas things the other day and I found this little sign in Winners. I stood there and stared at it for about 5 minutes before I decided to pick it up and take it home. I am not sure exactly why it evoked the feelings in my chest that it did, but I couldn't just walk away from something that moved me so much. Its new home is now in my living room where the children and I can read it daily. (ooh and yes I made it level after I noticed) 

This time off work has been a mix of emotions. I am really looking forward to time away this weekend with my family. I can't wait to see and laugh with my brother, he always makes everything better and helps clear my head and makes my tender heart feel better. 


I am grateful for a safe drive to my parents house.

I am grateful for a comfortable pillow.

I am grateful for hairday yesterday and how good I feel after a trip to Sam at Fusion Salon. They make me feel so pretty and loved. They are exactly what I needed to feel better.



Wednesday, December 4

Myth Busters Night Out

I took the boys to see Myth Busters this week. It happened by chance that I even found out about it. I went to go buy Seth a Myth Busters book for Christmas and the woman selling the book made a comment about how they were in Edmonton that night. I made a few calls and tickets were found. (Well done Samantha!!)

I was really excited for the boys to see Jamie Hyneman and Adan Savage live, we have been watching the Myth Busters for years and I knew it would be a fun night. But I was most excited for Seth to see them. Seth is my science child. Seth has read and re read every know how book in our entire house at least 12 times. He is my logical thinker and he is very analytically minded. When Jamie and Adam came on stage I could hardly watch them I was enjoying watching Seth more. Seth was on the edge of his seat the entire time. Watching him react and listening to him answer the questions Jamie and Adam asked. I loved when they would ask for a volunteer from the audience and Seth would practically rip his own arm off to wave it higher in hopes of getting picked. I could have sat there and listened to my boys gasp and giggle all night. It was one of the best nights I have had in a long time.


I am grateful for the joy children bring.

I am grateful for getting a good parking spot and it not being too cold out to walk that night.

I am grateful for the imaginations and dreams of children.


Monday, November 25

Seth Turns 9

Happy Birthday Seth!!!

Whenever we spend time together I find it so fascinating. It's amazing how someone can look so similar to me yet be the complete opposite in personality. You are so soft spoken and gentle,  introverted and methodical. I love watching you do anything because I know it will be done with the greatest of care and done correctly. I look forward, with great anticipation, to see where life will take you. You are so full of potential it's astounding.  You always seem so happy and content, you are slow to anger and when you have something to say it's always so thought out. Strange as it might sound my sweet boy, I worry about you and your future the least, not from a lack of caring, but because by your very nature you are shockingly trustworthy already. You are going to be such an amazing man.

I am honoured to be your mom.

 I want ease for you my dear son, you have had such a difficult start to this life already, but I know struggle builds character and I know why its important to go through it. I hope you find your happiness and never lose it. When you smile it is so genuine it makes my heart happy. I love seeing you smile. All parents should get to have a child like you, you make it so easy.

I love you,



I am grateful for my children, for their health and happiness.