The second I was finished the show Friday night I ran outside to the parking lot where Ryan and Maclean were waiting. A quick gear change into Lois and we all piled in and spun off. South bound and all smiles, ready to have some time off.
Now I considered telling you all about the trip, but I have done this trip a hundred times and I always say the same old things.So this trip I thought it might be interesting for you to hear about it from Maclean, Ryan and I... it was "our" trip after all.
J-Were you excited to get going Maclean? Ry, were you excited? I could hardly keep my butt in my chair the last hour of work!
R-I don't get excited.
J-What? About nothing, ever?
R-Yeah, and I'm sticking to that.
M-Ooh hey guys, I'm here too. I damn near ran from the house screaming as soon as I woke up and let your kids fend for themselves.
J-Ooh, you are clearly understanding how mothers feel! Recommitting to that Birth control, eh love?
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| M- "Joelle, get your camera out of my vicinity, please. No matter how much you plead, I will just stare introspectively out the window." J-Maclean, you look so beautiful in this picture. I was thinking you looked exactly like a princess staring out, longing for some stinky cowboy to sweep you away. Was that what you were thinking? M-Obviously! R-I think that is a testament to my excellent driving. J-What is? R-Well, the zen like state that Maclean is in. I should be a pilot. J-Really, Captain Ryan? R-It's Admiral. M-...No turbulence here. |
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| M- I think there is a thunder storm coming guys. J-You are clearly a master of the obvious Maclean. R-That was a gooder! M-That was Bullshit, it was all hype. You and your "prairie thunderstorms" Pft... R-We should have just stayed there. J-Instead of going to Banff? R-Again, my excellent driving skills got us through the thunderstorms. J-How hard is it to drive in a straight line, seriously? I would not be bragging you almost killed us in Leduc...remember? |
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| J-Man you're cute! R-Okay, fine...I don't know how to follow that, now I'm all bashful. I'm just shoulder checking...geesh! M-I just want to hear Eminem.... |
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| R-What is that blob on the bottom? Is that a wild hermaphrodite we caught on camera? J- You're a lunatic! It's a grain thing! M-Still want to hear Eminem!!! J-So we drove to Strathmore Friday night and stayed at my parents house. Saturday morning, we got up, and after a rather complex attempt to gather breakfast, we headed to Banff in a freak snowstorm. |
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| M-Nora should be here, she loves winter! J-WTH?? No Kids!! Maclean, are you on bathsalts?? R-Ooh Bathsalts are popular these days. And BTW this is a no kid trip, you don't even talk about kids! M- What kids? J-Better!! |
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| J-We made it!! I white knuckled it all the way but we arrived safe! First stop was the gondola. R-First stop should have been the Grizzly house! M-God, there are hot guys here! J- The grizzly house is for swingers Ry...is there something you have not told me? R- I am totally a swinger if the elderly are involved. M-I'll swing with anyone in Banff. |
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| M-I am super uncomfortable here! J-I'm gonna throw up , I HATE HEIGHTS!!! R-I am the whitest MOFO alive! I need a tan! I have never seen an albino with black eyebrows before. |
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| J-I was listening to music and trying not to vomit, while these two were all "look down to our death" "isn't it so pretty out?" R-I can neither confirm nor deny that there were two naked lumberjacks fighting over a bowl of frosted flakes. J-hahahahahah! M-How the hell do I follow that? |
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| J-We made it to the top alive!!!! R-That's how high were are... J-How high? R-Robert Downy JR high. J-That's a good amount of high. |
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| J- When we finished paying over $100 to get to the top of this mountain, we get out to go show Maclean the majestic Rockies and this is what we see. M-I was asked where I was visiting from. J-Ooh and what did you say? M-I said I was visiting from Alberta. J-Honey, we are still in Alberta.... R-Poor Maclean, you innocent child. If your cheeks are red and rosy right now, it was all worth it! M-Guys, I said that was not making it on the blog! J&R-lol J- I made no such promises! |
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| Here is where we Ooh and Aww about the scenery and where Maclean takes a picture of old people from Texas and makes a rather witty remark about falling to their death, crazy enough they did not laugh. Not too sure why... |
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| So to make due with the expensive trip to see nothing, Maclean at least ate fresh snow. M-This is the best F***ing snow I've ever had. R-MMM snow J-Really? that's it? MMMM? R-Well we had to eat, this is how hungry we were. J-You didn't eat snow, what are you saying? |
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| M-No seriously guys, you have got to try this snow!! |
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| J-Ryan throwing a snowball. M-Don't throw your back out Ry! R-It's not my back I need to worry about, its my shoulder. And I do throw like a girl, but that's ok, girls are cool. J-I don't throw like that? R-No, you don't but that's because I have a wicked side arm, and that was the follow through to my side arm. That thing was in orbit! |
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| J-You two look like knobs! R-When we got down we were able to survey the victor of the naked lumberjack fight. And it was the guy with the red beard, he won. M-I love red heads! |
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| J-I can't look to cheer on the winner, cause I'm trying to keep my cool. |
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| R-That is Joelle laughing at her farts. J-NO I AM NOT! M-That smell was none too pleasant in that small gondola. J-SCREW YOU BOTH, I did not fart! R-It was a tight space to have have someone do something so horrific. J-SHUT UP, I DID NOT! Jerks. R-I am sensing guilt! J-Whatever! |
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| R-Liquor time! That's all I wanted was booze at noon. J-It was a beautiful pub and had great food. M-Bottoms up Bitchez! |
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| M-Sweet man hands Maclean. J-You do not have man hands! R-Do you have man hands? M-I do there. R-They don't look like man hands. M-Thanks. R-That fire wasn't like Taylor Lautner Hot. More like Zach Galifianakis hot. M-Woah! Zack is totally hot. R-I just meant it's not really hot. |
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| R-I am laughing because I just left your phone number in the men's washroom. Expect lots of calls from heavy breathing tourists. J-You're an ass, I was going to say how handsome you looked here. M-Check out the guy by the bar... |
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| J-Stunning my dear! R-Here she is actually checking out the guy at the bar. M-I was trying to be C.C.C. J-It worked, you look it. M-Really, I didn't get his number. R-That's cause the fourth C is Chickenshit! M-F YOU! |
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| M-Beaver Bush is better because there is alliteration. R-Well, that thing carried more grease then Elvis's underpants. J-You two have issues! |
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| Last on the list for the day was the hot springs. Thankfully, it was snowing so the cooler temps made it bearable. J-Fabio in red speedos! R-I distinctly remember they were not red, they were burgundy. M-Burgundy Banana hammock. J- I could see everything!! R-I saw things... J- What things Ry? R-It was, it was...a mushroom cloud. I think I could see his pee hole to be honest with you. J-Why were you looking so close? R- I couldn't stop, I couldn't look away. It was right there. It was like someone just crashed a truck full of blowup dolls, I just had to look. M-At least he was confident. J- What about the creepy old guy taking pictures? R-Well...I will more than likely end up having an appendage sold on a black market website. M-I would like to think he was just taking pictures of family. J- Yeah, family and boobs. |
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| When the weekend was over and on Sunday night we played a board game and relaxed . M-Sunday Funday...queen of Catan, Bitchez! R-Is that right? There will be a rematch soon and we may not be friends after. M- You will cry just as hard as you did the first time. R-No, I won't because the knife will be in her back this time! |
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| And so ends our weekend of fun. R-It was nice, and that is all I will say. I am sorry I almost killed us in Leduc. J-I had a wonderful time you guys. Thank you! M-Best weekend so far!
Today:
R-I am grateful for insoles.
J-Any reason?
R-I am not giving you the reason, I just am!
J-Ok...weird-o.
M-A lot. Out of the blue hugs from kids.
I am grateful for dancing kids.
I am grateful for the nice boy at the liquor store, and a cool cousin with a fairly decent boyfriend.
R-Hahahah...that is a good one, why can't I come up with a good one like that. All I came up with was insoles.
M- Well, I am hard to live up to.
M-Best start to summer 2012
R-I am okay, should I add more stuff?
J-It's just what you are grateful for.
R-I'm an ingrate...I am grateful for being such an ingrate.
J- I am grateful for happiness.
I am grateful for love in my life.
I am grateful for this time to get to know Maclean more.
I am grateful for my little car that did so good on this drive.
I am grateful:)
J & R & M
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