Thursday, May 24

The Wisdom Of Jillian Michaels

Maclean (my cousin who is here to be my nanny for 2 months) and I have been doing the workout video "The 30 Day Shred" by Jillian Michaels from TV's The Biggest Loser. This time last year I did it and lost almost 40 pounds. I subsequently put back on that 40 pounds and am once again trying to take it off. We are on day 16 and I have noticed a change already. My pants fit better and my bras are not overloaded with boobs anymore, my shirts lay nicer and overall I just feel stronger.

When we are about halfway through the video Jillian always begins her annoying monologue about how "the only way to make something change (your body) is to put pressure on it" and "by putting stress and pressure on things is the only way to make things stronger and to cause change".

 I am normally swearing at her by this part of the video, but the last few days she seems to know what she is talking about, I HAVE already noticed changes...bitch!

Then I started thinking maybe she is actually smarter than I first thought, perhaps her logic could be transferred to regular everyday life too. Stress and pressure (weights and exercise) cause change to my physical body, then why wouldn't stress and pressure (emotional ) cause change and growth on the inside as well? And even though sometimes that stress and pressure takes the form of heartbreak and pain, it will, inevitably cause the same growth on the inside as cardio and squats does on the outside.


So my emotional workout has just moved to level two. I am no longer seeing anyone, my dance card is now empty, I am  flying solo.. what other strange and stupid sayings can I add to this part?

I feel like a huge elephant has planted his over sized non Jillian-ized ass on my chest. I have been crying for days and have a constant headache. There are no hard feelings of course, just the constant, repeated questions of "what the hell is wrong with me?" keeps playing in my head.

But I guess those are the emotional equivalent to the lunges/high knees/sit ups/biceps curls and other physical tortures I willingly subject myself to. Change is important, growth is vital and I always look forward to seeing who comes out the other side of situations I go through. This time, I hope my "emotional ass" comes out a little nicer and looks better in jeans.


I am sad really really sad, but I am grateful for closure.

I am grateful for a strong will and a inner voice that reminds me that "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"

(Even though it is super gross) I am grateful for the accelerated weight loss that comes from being so upset I can't keep food down.