I want to have a letter from myself to open right now. I want to be able to have something tangible that will reassure me that things will be okay in the foreseeable future. I want to read, in my own words, that in 6 months I am sleeping through the night. I want to be comforted that I am no longer heartbroken from breaking up with Ryan again last night and that I have stopped crying (man I would really like that). I would give anything to read my own words telling me money is not in such short supply, but if it is, that I have at least figured out how to pay off my major bills without having to resort to selling any organs. I would like to read that no more major appliances have broken down, and that everyone in my direct circle of peers and friends is healthy and well. I could handle reading that my car has escaped any major incidents, and I would like to read how prepared I am for Christmas, and how wonderful things are, and that it is the mildest winter we have had in years. And if it's not asking too much, I would like to read that my skinny jeans are super comfortable and are going to look fantastic for the new years eve party I am going to.
I can dream, can't I?
I am grateful for all my friends who love me and who will send me the name of a song that is upbeat and cheerful so I have something to listen to so I can stop making myself crazy listening to sad "my heart is broken" songs! (BIG hint hint!)
I am grateful for the guys I work with, who have inadvertently, and possibly unwillingly, become the male role fillers in my life right now. Thanks for making me laugh.
I am grateful the children are almost done school!
I am grateful for Sam who is going to let me use her washing machine (when I ask her) because mine has broken AGAIN!!! (ooh Sam, I have a question for you...)
I am grateful for a new toothbrush. 'Cause hell, if I can't find and keep love, at least I have clean teeth!