Thursday, June 28

Good Bye My Dear Maclean

I have just returned form dropping off Maclean at the airport. It seems only fitting that on such a sad day I would go out to the car to find it had been broken into and my things stolen. When we loaded her luggage into the trunk I just wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because of my stolen sunglasses, because Maclean was no longer going to be here, because of everything that has happened this week with Ryan and I breaking up, because of my broken washing machine and shower but funny enough I couldn't. I absolutely could not cry one single tear. I am completely and totally cried out! I have nothing left in me to expel. I am confident I will not even be peeing for a few days THAT is how cried/watered out I am. So all I could do was laugh.

This was going to be a sobbing nose running composure lacking goodbye letter to Maclean but because I am completely incapable of any more emotion my dear Maclean your send off letter will be as follows...

My Dearest Maclean,




Okay maybe that is not the only thing I have to say to you. I'll try again..

Dear Maclean,

I did not grow up with a sister, and to be honest I was a little nervous about what living with another woman would be like. I have friends, but I have never lived with them for extended periods of time. I was worried you might see aspects of my life that bothered you or that we might not agree with things and there might be conflict, I was worried two months would feel like eternity and that you would hate it here.

I just dropped you off at the airport that I swear I just picked you up from 10 minutes earlier. The time went by so fast. Having you here has been amazing, it is what I always imagined and hoped having a sister would be like. Someone to talk with and laugh with. Support when things are difficult but not pushy or judgmental. I have loved having you here. You were such a gift sent from the universe to answer my deepest concerns, my children could not have had better care. The love and attention you gave them will never be forgotten. You may never know the peace of mind you gave me every day, it is the greatest thing in the world to know your children are safe and loved, it makes going to work easier and by having you here I was able to concentrate and do a good job.

I had so much fun while you were here. I know others did too. And I know they would want to say good bye as well if they could. You are so funny and such a stunning and confident woman I sometimes forgot how much younger you are. I have and will cherish this time I have gotten to spend with you, party with you, laugh and cry with you and all the time we did Jillian Michaels together. There is an unspeakable bond between women who not only care for the same children but who have learned to mow the lawn, cook, and do push ups, rock-stars, mountain climbers and jump lunges together. I have loved our late night talks and rants. Thank you for sharing music with me, cooking with me and loving my babies with me.Thank you for your strength while I went through some personal hard times. You have a very special place in my heart.

I am going to miss you terribly. I already feel so alone and the house feels so empty not having you here. I love you and the children love you. Thank you for helping me when I needed it so much. You are wonderful, beautiful and someone I consider a true friend. 

All my love,



I am grateful for waking up today and not having a headache.

I am grateful for my last night with Maclean. Dinner together our talks and laughing it was the perect way to say goodbye.

I am grateful for the sunny day and that today is the kids last day of school!

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