Friday, January 14

Deep Breath

I was not the worlds best mom today. I have been noticing that I have been getting increasingly more critical of my children and of Drew over these last few weeks. I am not proud of it, and I hate it about myself, but it's the truth.

I could sit here and explain my side, making a case to why I am acting like this, they are all great reasons. My back is sore pretty much all the time, I am tired ALL THE TIME, I am trying to eat more responsibly which means I am hungry more often, the weather is awful so no one goes out get the picture. 

But tonight while my children ate, cleaned up, bathed, brushed teeth got ready for bed, I was very quick to anger, I was demanding, and I was loud. 

If someone had treated me the way I was treating the ones I love, I would have punched them in the face.

A dear friend came over tonight and lovingly pointed out that I am a better person/mom than this. That perfection is a high standard to expect, and an even harder thing to achieve.

(Deep Breath)

I am a good mom, who is having a bad stretch.
I will tell the children how sorry I am for being so grumpy. 

(Deep Breath)

I am better than this. I will make sure they know how sorry I feel. 

(Deep Breath)

I am going to get more rest, and try again tomorrow.

(Deep Breath) 

I might not have chosen every aspect of this life of mine, but I was a participant in making this life, and I am going to do right by my choices. I am going to do better. I am going to love those within my arms reach better, the way they deserve to be loved.

(Deep Breath)

I am not perfect, so I have no right to expect that of another.




I am grateful for the loving lesson taught to me tonight.
I am grateful for another day to do better.
I am Grateful for date night and having such a wonderful babysitter. 
I am grateful Nora is still chipper even tho she looks/feels worse.