Tuesday, May 3

Letters from China

As I had mentioned a while ago my Sister in law is in China working at a hospital.

I miss Kelly terribly. I find her wit refreshing and comforting. It feels like forever since I heard from her last.

She has written 3 times and I had to share one of her letters. I was laughing so hard I was tearing up. I hope you enjoy her adventures as much as I do....


So really as much as I try to play it cool, going to the washroom here in good old China, is an issue. It has become an art really. Get a tissue in one hand, a tissue in the other make sure NOTHING will touch the ground (ex fold pants into socks, tuck scarves as needed) and venture into the room. All tissued up, grab the door with tissue hand #1 go in close it, then into crouch position and DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, the clean tissue #2 goes over your nose and mouth so you can breath while you are in there. When your finished Tissue #2 goes from covering your mouth to a quick wipe, and gets flushed, while dirty tissue #1 flushes the toilet and opens the door and into the garbage and Vwa la! You have successfully lived and I would say are still remotely clean. Today as I'm realizing I'm on the verge of getting a bladder infection from holding it until I cant and not drinking nearly enough water, I decided to get over it and use the washrooms at the hospital, which despite what most would think.. are the worst we have seen yet! I'm all tissued up grab the door with tissue hand #1, go in, close it, its stays at the partial shut, thank goodness since there is no lock and it actually isn't constructed to close all the way. I'm just grateful this one has a door, as the one next to mine doesn't. Then into crouch position where the clean tissue #2 goes over my nose and mouth, it smells lovely! This isn't soooo bad. 
Then the unspeakable happens! 
I'm feeling great about my decision to pee all the time, drink more water and not fear of having to pee at the hospital.... and then...... a giant drip of SOMETHING comes from the ceiling and falls shwack on the crown of my head!!! OMG OMG so I start to have a very quiet panic attack. I cant totally freak out or things will probably touch the floor or Ill touch walls that would only further my horror. Since the door only actually reaches my lower chest people waiting start to see a head popping up and down, up and down while I sort threw my panic about what to clean/do first. My mind starts racing going places it shouldn't, like are all the bathrooms on each floor above the others? Ya I think they are... stop Kelly stop. Its sink water that's all. I take clean tissue #2 and dab the water from my crown that is now leaking onto my forehead and breath a quick short breath of sewer and poo smell. I safely get into my pocket without letting anything touch anything and get a clean tissue #3 to wipe and then I get the f#ck out of the bathroom.
I can still feel where the gob hit even though the second I walked in our door 7 HOURS later!!!! I immediately showered. I'm probably going to have nightmares... So much for 'getting over it' Bring on the bladder infection!



I am grateful for early bed time. 

I am grateful for laughter.

I am grateful for the 21 degrees it was today. 


Gillian said...

I might never get to visit China now.

Leah M said...

Oh J!!
I loved your sister in law!! Just from this encounter!!
Yeah, it just confirmed that there was a reason I had no desire to visit China!!
Good Luck to her!!

Amy said...

Thanks for sharing, that was awesome!!!! She's going to have the most hilarious and amazing experiences!

Percy2626 said...

That is hilarious!!! I'm sure she will never complain about a dirty gas station bathroom again!!! :D