Wednesday, March 2

It's time for me to put on the big girl panties

Yesterday I posted about a conversation Ethan and I had regarding babies and where they come from.
I was over joyed that my sweet little boy still thinks babies come out of belly buttons... but after reading a comment from my dear friend Natasha I have been doing a lot of thinking.

Natasha has been who, quite literally, formed my parental foundation when we started having children. She taught me so much about the kind of mother I want to be, and showed me the best way to achieve what I want as a mother.
So to say I take her opinion and advice seriously and to heart is an understatement.

When I dropped Seth off in the morning I checked my emails on my iPhone and saw her comments on yesterdays blog post and instantly felt like what she said was right. I do want to be the first one to have this conversation with Ethan... all my children actually. I want them to be properly informed and feel like they know (even if it's uncomfortable) that they can come to me with questions.

I have had zero problem talking to them about drugs and alcohol, but not the subject of babies. That one makes me squirm a little. I would happily stick my head in the sand for 10 more years and pretend they don't need to know, but that is not the kind of mom I want to be.

I can honestly say I felt like I was having a heart attack after I came to the decision that I would talk to Ethan about this today. It was pounding so hard and I had quite a bit of anxiety but I figured, even though I am about as mature as the children I will be speaking to, I want to do right by them, so I need to put on my big girl panties and do this. I am going to talk to my boy(s) about babies and where they come from.

I drove to chapters. I think the best way to teach anything is with books and this topic is no exception. The idea of having something Ethan can look at while we discuss this that is not my face is a glorious plan.
I went in to Chapters and found a woman to ask...
I was having palpitations and was pathetic and awkward asking her where these books were located in the store. Thankfully she was kind and showed me everything and told me what she thought would be best.
Here is what I got.
These are the two great books I found. They are both easy to follow and the illustrations are very watered down.

I bought this one because it's the book my mom gave to me when I was "learning"; I think I bought it for nostalgic reasons.
I decided to read the Whats the big secret to the boys. It was a nice easy way to broach the topic and it was a mild version of everything. Which was good for us all. 


I had been fretting all day, running through the whole thing in my head about how it might go. I spoke to Tasha and got a little advice about what to do, and what to say.


(I surprised myself, being so capable of talking to anyone anywhere... yet being so nervous about this... ugh)


When I got home, and the kids were sitting all together, I decided it was as good a time as any.
I told them I wanted to talk to them about our conversation from yesterday...where babies come from.
We reviewed what had already been discussed, and it was a bit of a gong show, so I just began reading the book and it was great. The pictures helped keep their attention without being vulgar or nasty.


The first thing it discussed was body parts, we got to the part about the girls.
"That is called a vagina."
Gabe says, "Isn't that where Dads grandma lives?"
"No Gabe that is Regina, and she does not live there." (true story)


We move on to the boys seed (for how to make a baby)...
The daddy puts a seed in the mommy...
Ethan "Is it a sunflower seed or pumpkin seed?"
Oh my goodness, "It's neither, it's a baby seed."
"What does a baby seed look like?" (also true story)
Oooh my... help me please!


Finally we finish the book, and I am really grateful. It went way better then I thought it would.
Ethan was mortified at first but relaxed after a while and the conversation got easier as the book went on, and surprisingly I felt pretty calm through the whole thing too.
The book was wonderful and helped a lot.
Ethan asked to read it on his own later and said he would talk to me if he had any questions.
Gabe and Seth also asked really great questions, and it felt natural to have them all there.


All in all it was better then I thought. I am going to read the books again tonight and hopefully this becomes a bit easier. When Ethan went to bed he told me that a friend of his at school had been talking about this and he thanked me for explaining it to him, he also asked to read the other books I bought too. 


Score one for the mom!


Today:


I am grateful for my good friend Natasha.  Thank you.  Your wisdom and advice is always appreciated.  


I am grateful for books. really really really grateful!


I am grateful tomorrow is Wednesday and the Brits come home in the afternoon.


I am grateful for all the learning this parenting gig offers me.


Ooh and I am really grateful for being a mom.


J

2 comments:

Leah M said...

Yeah for mom!!

Anonymous said...

A great start, Joelle, good for you.