Monday, February 28

The last Music Monday for February

This is the last day of the month. February has been a long, cold and rather ugh month for me.
I find this time of year very challenging. I look forward to the stage of my life when I am able to go to Mexico in February to brake up the tediousness of winter. 


I have been struggling to make this a peppier Music Monday, I will be really happy when this week is over.


Have a great week everyone


J



Duffy -Mercy


Sara Bareilles- Gravity


The Verve-Bittersweet Symphony


Priscilla Ahn-Dream


The Hoof & The Heel- King Find out


Keep Breathing -Ingrid Michaelson

Saturday, February 26

Another day in paradise minus the paradise

This week has been absolutely freezing, -35 with the wind chill all week. Ugh..this needs to end soon.
Another thing that added to the joy of this week is gas prices went up to $1.09... oh heaven.  This time of year in this country I call home is starting to wear on me. I need to start going to Mexico in the winters.

So when I was picking up Seth on this joyous day the other moms and I were chatting about how our days were going and one of the ladies asked about how to remove a bean from her child's nose.
Kind of gross, and truthfully I have not had to deal with that yet (knock on wood). We have swallowed things, but nothing up the nose yet.

I did share with her our "shove things in the ears story".

I think it was a year and a half ago around summer time, Seth was sitting on a chair and I was looking at his hair and noticed something in his ear. I went and grabbed a flashlight and started inspecting; I could not make out what it was exactly but I could see there was definitely a foreign object in there.
I phoned the doctor and because my doctor is amazing he said to come in that day.
When I got there he looked in Seth's ears and said, "ooh ya there is something in here for sure, and it looks pink"
He checked Seth's other ear too, and said, "in here it's yellow and orange"

We were both baffled . He went and got a little bottle, filled it with warm water and told me to hold a green kidney basin under Seth's ear while he (the doctor) gently squirted water to remove whatever the colorful things were in Seth's ears.
While the water was being squirted in, chunks of colorful dots that were covered and stuck to each other with big pieces of dark ear wax would come out. Obviously whatever this was had been in there for a while.
After a few squirts the doctor checked his ear again and made sure everything was out, and then moved onto the next ear.
As the water was going into the next ear, more tiny dots of color were coming out stuck together with chunks of ear wax. I was gagging now. I could not for the life of me figure out what all these dots were. And the smell was horrible.

Then when it was all done, and the doctor had checked both ears to make sure it was all out it dawned on me what the pieces of color were. It was the floam Drew's mother had bought Seth for Christmas 6 months before!! He must have shoved it in his ears when he was playing with it.

Floam is little Styrofoam balls in a goo that sticks together for molding into objects.
I was laughing so hard I was crying (while I was gagging from the smell). The doctor was giggling pretty hard too.
Seth just kept smiling and saying "wow, that feels so much better"

All the moms at the table were laughing, it's good to laugh. It made me forget about how cold my hands were.

Today:

I am grateful that Natasha came into town this week to have dinner with me. She is one of my oldest friends and it is always good to visit with her.We exchanged gifts from the last 3 major holidays, ate Indian food and went shopping at Anthropologie. It was a good night.

I am grateful Tasha only found one lemon seed in the scones I made her. oops.  For the record I thought I got them all out.

I am grateful for my paraffin wax. I used it again today on my very dry hands; they are taking such a beating in this weather. Thanks again Heather!

I am grateful it is the weekend and that the weather is supposed to be mild. The children need to be able to get out and play more before I lose my mind.

I am grateful for how pretty I feel in my new jeans.

I am grateful for phone conversations with dear friends, it does my heart well.

J

Friday, February 25

I am the Holy Ghost and other one liners from our children

On Sunday Drew had made us a turkey dinner.
Yup, that is the honest truth.
I had taken the children to church and he stayed home to catch up on a ton of homework he had to do because work took him out of town during the week, so while we were gone he did the turkey, potatoes, veggies... ya, he rocks.

When we got home we set the table and started eating. Nora wouldn't sit and kept getting off her seat and climbing under the table. "Nora, please come sit up and eat with us."
Then I would hear this soft sweet "no".
"Nora, please come sit up here." Then a little louder "no" would shoot out from under the table.

"Nora, come sit up here with us for dinner." I push my seat back and lift up the table cloth a little to look under the table, and with a voice that sounded possessed, demonic and angry from the pits of hell itself she says,

"NO! I AM BEING THE HOLY GHOST!"

It startled me and I just left her down there.

Later on in the weekend...
Drew and I have really been struggling with whether we should put Seth in the English program next year or if he should follow the older two in the french Immersion program. (Just to clarify because he has had his speech problems we aren't sure what direction to go with him.)
So this morning while we were eating breakfast I asked Seth "What would you like to do, French or English?"
He looks at us, thinks, then puts his finger in his mouth and says, "I want to go to cavity school."
Thanks for your help buddy.

Funny Kids.

Today:

I am grateful for Christy who came over to visit me this past weekend. Christy is one of the handful of young women I was a leader over when Drew and I lived in Northern Alberta so many years ago. She has finished University now, and has become such a beautiful and well spoken woman. The entire time we were talking I just stared at her, listening to her stories. It is so cliche to say, but I felt old(er).
It was so nice to catch up with her.

I am grateful for the sun today. It was almost -40 out, but with the sun it was not as bad. I feel happier when it's bright out.

I am so very grateful for not feeling sore today. Normally after physio I am stiff the next day, but not today!

I am grateful for technology.

J

Wednesday, February 23

I am grateful

Today was so long. I am exhausted, but I am grateful...


Today:


I am grateful for Drew who took Seth to school so I could go to my specialists appointment for my back early this morning.


I am grateful for the kind doctor that came into my room bearing chocolate gifts and saying,"I know I am going to hurt you during this, so I brought treats for you so you don't hate me." It worked.


I am grateful for how wonderful the specialist was. He explained all of my options to me and really encouraged me to discuss what option would be good for me not only with Drew but with Physio guy too. He really cared about the work I have put into getting better before seeing him, and said so twice.


I am grateful for the incredibly thorough assessment the specialists did on my back and hips. I was so impressed that I am willing to overlook the fact they gave me a paper towel to cover up with. And then told me to do acrobatics while wearing the towel.


I am grateful for a wonderful family doctor, who listens and cares.


I am grateful that I got to have a little bit of the afternoon to myself. 


I am grateful for whoever invented Skype. 
I am grateful for Skype.


I am grateful for how happy I feel.


I am grateful for love. 


I am grateful for Physio guy, it was almost like he could sense how exhausted I was after my 2 different doctors appointments (and my 2 hour appointment today for my back where I was twisted, poked, pushed, and bent)... I was already really sore tonight when I went to see him for my weekly appointment so when I got there PG was very kind. I got heat, massage, stim, banter and laughs, stretching and ultrasound. No needles just a smile. He is a very kind man, and a very dear friend. Have a wonderful time on your trip, I hope you fall asleep in a lawn chair and get a sunburn.


I am grateful for a good laugh, nachos and a new friend.


I am grateful.


J

Newspaper rants and heart attacks

We spent Saturday cleaning the house. While I was cleaning, Drew was reading our local paper, found this in the "Rant and Raves" section and called me over.




Now, when I finished reading it all I could do was stand there with my mouth hanging open. I actually had NOTHING to say. I was shocked. I am amazed at what this world is coming to.
A friend of mine wrote a quote that I just loved. She said, "why do those who know the least, know it the loudest?" Props to Marissa.


I cannot for the life of me wrap my brain around the idea that this person sat there, watched this horrific act that was done to this little creature and did nothing to help.... then wrote (to a NEWSPAPER) about the act and advertised how he/she did nothing to help. After a few days I still have nothing to say about it except to shake my head in disbelief.


Today:


I am grateful for the kindness of the Young Women I go to church with. Tonight while Drew was out and the children were in bed I was doing laundry and cleaning up and my door bell rang. 
I opened the door and I had been "Heart attacked"






Now there was a literal and figurative heart attack that happened. The figurative, because this kind of ring and run where the girls decorate my door with hearts and left candy they call a "heart attack"; the literal being when I opened my door a few of the hearts fell from the door frame and hit my face, scaring the crap out of me. I screamed and jumped backwards and tripped on my boots.
I am grateful for what they did, it was so sweet and made me feel loved, the irony of this is my chest has been hurting for days before this even happened.


I am grateful for service and for how it makes me feel better.


I am grateful for the chocolate that was left tonight. THANK YOU LADIES it could not have come at a better time!!!


J

Tuesday, February 22

Basketball Jones - the decrepit version

For Family day we went and played basketball with some friends, and let me tell you my mouth was writing checks my body was having a very hard time cashing!


Melanie brought her 12 year old son and his friend (along with the rest of our 9 children, combined) and we all played a few rounds of bump. I was feeling pretty good, nothing fantastic, but I was holding my own. 
Bump
Then Mel and I collectively had the ever so brilliant idea to agree to a challenge made by the youngins to a scrimmage to 10. 


Ooh my heavens! What were we thinking?
We played half court and the first two points were shared and I quickly regretted agreeing to go to 10. When we were 2 even, I had to call a time out for lung fire. 
We held our own for the next 3 and then I could no longer move. I had to lay down to help my arms to stop shaking. 
After a 20 minute break we resumed, and I swear the only thing that kept me going was pride.
The game ended at 10-9 for us, and none too soon. My chest was heaving, arms and legs shaking and I was dizzy. 
I will fully admit that had this been legit at all, I would most likely have been fouled out by point 5, but that is how I have always played, and these boys have youth, health and speed. I just have elbows and occasional pushing. I am just thankful the day did not end with Depends, or an ambulance.

This is Melanie and I ready to die after our game.




This is Abby who kept score, the boys lost so they have the sad face, and the square in the middle is the pause button. (We stopped the game so much she felt she needed one)


The rest of the afternoon we played some version of kick baseball (I broke one of the lights in the building) and just overall had a wonderful time. It was fun.


Kick ball (like baseball, sort of)


The piece of light I broke from my WAY TOO powerful kick to the lights!


As a side note, "back in the day" I can honestly say I think there were maybe 5 games my whole life I was not fouled out of. I am a 5'6" forward and I was mean. I had to be mean because I was so bloody short.  I like to call it aggressive... maybe not mean.  


I do believe there is a video out there somewhere in the world of me punching a girl during a game. Honestly, it is a wonder to me that coach Rita even let me play.  I remember pulling other girls ponytails to get the ball, pinching, stepping on their feet and tripping them (I can't even imagine what my mother in law is thinking reading this). We were a good team (tough), and I have many scars to show for my ball days.


When I was in high school we had a girl on our team named Krista. She was 6'5", maybe 6'6" (I don't remember exactly now - all I remember is that she towered over me); anyhow, she was honestly the sweetest girl in the world. But that was the problem, she needed to become a little more rough to be more of a force under the net with us.  I remember being at a game once and the other team had a rather tall girl too. They had their tall gal playing against Krista. There were elbows, and the other girl was rough and was a little dirty too. We were clearing out of our end and out of nowhere the tall girl was yelling, she no longer had a jersey on and was sitting on the ground. 
Krista had apparently had enough of this girl playing dirty and being mean, so she grabbed her by the back of her jersey and swung her around so hard it ripped off her top. 


Even writing this I can't help but laugh. I remember our whole team laughing so hard and being so proud of Krista! Such a great little bank of memories from back then.


Today:


I am so grateful for being able to play with my family and friends. I had a great time! 


I am grateful for a loving man (Drew) who kindly told me my clothes are getting too big and sent me to get new jeans tonight. 
I am grateful for clothes that fit!


I am grateful my children all made a rather large stink about how good the turkey soup I made was. It felt really nice to be appreciated for my hard work. I want them to love real food, and they do.


I am grateful I did not have a heart attack and die today.. or pee my pants.


J 



Monday, February 21

Music soothes my soul

It is, yet again, Monday. This Monday is different though; it is Family day here in Canada which means Drew has the day off and the children do not have school. It is the one and only day of the year you have to, by law, spend the day with your family. Heavy fines and jail time and possible flogging await those who disobey. 


As exciting as a flogging sounds, I am headed out to play basket ball with the family.
So please enjoy this MM.


J


k-os-Crabbuckit



Sick Puppies-Maybe



Hedley- Hands Up



Marians Trench-Good To You



Florence + The Machine- Dog Days are Over



lady Antebellum-Need You Now



Sugarland-Stuck Like Glue



Kings Of Leon-Sex On Fire



Today:


I am grateful Drew's cell phone is working and is accepting and sending international texts. I am going to lose my mind while the Brits are in England. 


I am grateful  for small distractions. 


I am grateful for the little yellow dot that shows up in my Google analytics in England. 


I am grateful for the parenting help I got last night; Nora actually went to bed after I was reminded how the super nanny puts kids to bed.


I am grateful for the SNL backstage 2 hour show last night, it's getting more and more exciting the closer my trip is getting!! 

Friday, February 18

Pretending to be sick AKA more time with mom

In the last two weeks I have recieved two phone calls from the boys school with Gabe on the other end saying in his very soft gentle voice, "Mom I am sick."

The first time I went to the school, no questions asked, picked him up and brought him home and was amazed at his instant and miraculous recovery (within seconds of walking in the door).
The second time I was a little more suspicious. When I got to the school to pick him up I asked his teacher quietly, "did something happen?" She assured me nothing had happened that she was aware of and he is doing great in school.
So when I got him in the truck and he again seemed to get better at an unheard of rate, I knew something was up.

I asked him what is wrong.
He said nothing was wrong.
I asked if he should go back to school?
He said no, his stomach hurt.

I was getting a bit annoyed now. He can't be missing school all the time pretending to be sick.
We were now driving into the city to pick up Seth and the entire drive I was trying to figure out what the problem with him might be.
When we got to Seth's school I was questioning Gabe more trying to get to the bottom of this.
I said, "Are you really sick?"
He said no.
I asked why he wanted to come home, he just stared at me and shrugged his shoulders.

I was frustrated.

After the kids went to bed Drew and I talked about what to do for a little while. I told him maybe I should keep Gabe home tomorrow. Drew is never for the children missing school; he has only taken a handful of sick days our whole married life, and has a super human work ethic. I on the other hand believe there is a place for balance.

After our talk Drew packs up to head out of town for the week. He told me he is okay with whatever I decided to do, even though I was not yet 100% sure what to do.
It seems like a simple thing but there has to be more to this than him just wanting to not be at school. I know he loves school. Gabe is such a kind boy; he is pleasing to a fault, and is never selfish.

It was still kind of early and I decided to go to bed. When I got into bed I layed there for almost 2 hours tossing and turning thinking about Gabe. I have no idea why. So after not winning the sleep battle I sat up in bed and decided to do something I had not done in a while. I decided to pray for Gabe.
I figure, if Heavenly Father made him first, he probably knows him the best.
So I asked why Gabe is pretending to be sick, and could he explain to me how Gabe is feeling.
A simple prayer... but I have been/am not really great at it.

I layed back down for 30 more minutes (it's 1:20 am now) and then I for some reason started remembering a time when I was in elementary school. I hadn't been thinking about it previously, so it was interesting that it came to mind.
I was maybe in grade 3 or 4? I don't really remember that part but I was around Gabe's age.

I was outside at recess playing with friends. Something happened and I remember falling and then having one of my other friends fall on my head.
I do remember it really hurt. The teacher supervisor came over and then I remember somehow being in one of the classrooms inside the school.
I do know my head really hurt, but if I am being honest I know it did not warrant the ambulance ride on the spinal board and neck brace to our little town hospital that I wound up with.
While I was laying in bed, I remembered how I felt when my aunt came to the hospital to pick me up. She would always give oodles of affection and love and I got to spend the rest of the day with her because my mom worked.  I (because of time) do not remember everything that transpired but I do remember I really liked the fuss that was being made over me. It was nice to have attention. I remember from that time of my life that my babysitter (before and after school care) hated me and I really hated being there; I remember my mom worked a lot, my dad was gone and I probably was seeking attention anyway I could get it. Funny how much of the actual accident I do not remember, but everything after (the time with my aunt) I remember clearly. I remember she was making a cake - I think it was my mom's birthday. I loved spending time with my aunt. Sigh...

By 4 am I had hardly slept but I think I understood what might be going on with Gabe a little better and I finally fell asleep. When the alarm when off at 6:30am I jumped out of bed; Gabe and I were going to have a special day together. When I finished getting ready and came downstairs to make lunches I told him he was going to miss school today and that I had a TON of baking to do that I needed his help with (Gabe LOVES to bake)... his face just lit up.

We spent the day talking, laughing, and cooking. We talked about how important it is to not miss school (on Drew's request) - I think it was a good day. After spending all day together it made me feel close to Gabe. We worked together and it was good for us both to laugh and to spend unrushed time together doing something we both enjoy.
It showed me that maybe when they are little and don't have the words to say "mom can we just hang out" they still might be saying it, just in a different way. It also showed me there is still value in my role, because sometimes I forget.

Here are the spoils of the day!

Gabe did the lattice all by himself! He made an apple and a pumpkin pie, and they were fantastic.

J

Today:

I am grateful for this gift of motherhood. And I am grateful the universe does not leave me without help when it comes to these little creatures.

I am grateful for English Sam who watched the kids so I could go to physio tonight because Drew is out of town.

I am grateful the physio student had a good sense of humor tonight after our prank on him last week.

I am grateful for PG who put me in a room when he played darts with IMS needles on my back. That was very nice to be able to scream in private. Thank you.

Thursday, February 17

zilch.99

Today was simple and wonderful.  Today the universe showed me the value in me staying home with my babies. I do sometimes get frustrated and think my time would be better spent elsewhere. Sometimes I get annoyed with doing mundane things over and over again and feel like I have no purpose. 
Then a day like today comes and I am okay with making zilch.99 an hour because what I do mattered a lot to 1 little person today.


Today:


I am grateful.


J

Wednesday, February 16

My kids think I talk too much

Tonight during dinner I asked Ethan who he wanted to go with him to his cubs celebration night.

He quickly answers "you mom."
I was touched actually. I had asked Drew earlier if he would go because I was not feeling all that well, but if Ethan wants me to, and did not even hesitate about it, maybe I should go.

I said, well thank you Ethan, why did you chose me.

He says, just as quickly as before "You are easily distracted and will talk lots so I will be able to play with my friends after. Dad never talks to anyone and will just come home."

That boy makes me smile.

Today:

I am grateful for good friends.

I am grateful TSN is now playing re-runs of all the Olympic events all week long!

I am grateful Dawson is coming up for work this week and gets to come visit!

J

Tuesday, February 15

A very interesting love day

Valentines day was, well, interesting to say the least.


In the morning her majesty Nora (the tyrant) became impatient while I was trying to get ready. She began gnawing on the little treats I had made her three friends (that we were about to go deliver). They were the last three in the house too; the boys took all the rest to school. So sadly we had nothing to take to her little friends.


Although... nothing says I love you quite like a half eaten candy. I know it's my favorite. 
She did not even take the plastic off.




Then out of nowhere there is a knock at my door and a woman I hardly know from church dropped me off these... at first I was not sure if I just have a really dirty mind, but I do think they are boobs right? The red things are hearts put under the icing so it looks like lace... or am I just a sick pervert? Weird! I got boob cookies from some lady. Happy friggin Valentines day. 






Later in the afternoon while trying to collect all the pieces needed for Drew's Valentines day gift I think I saw David Pelletier (the Canadian Olympic gold medal figure skater). If it wasn't him, it sure looked a lot like him. He was coaching a young figure skating couple at the West Edmonton mall rink. After this stay at home mom gig is over, I clearly will not become a member of the paparazzi... my camera phone sucks!






Regardless if it was him or not (which it was), it put me in a fantastic mood remembering last February at the Olympics. The kids and I PVR'd the anniversary show TSN did last night about the 2010 winter games and watching all the old footage from the games re-sent shivers up and down my arms and spine, made me cry and made me feel all warm inside again. 




Ooh and Happy Flag day CANADA!




Today:


I am grateful for the power the Olympics has to unify an entire country. Sport is such a beautiful thing. 
When the 1988 winter Olympics were in Calgary I got to be a part of the opening Ceremonies. I sang in the choir that was in the shape of the rings; I was a member of the yellow ring. It was a wonderful thing to have been a part of. I am grateful for those special memories.


I am grateful the weather was so lovely today.


I am grateful for the sweet woman at Seth's school today who made Nora two touque's. 


I am grateful for my healthy family, wonderful country and beautiful life!


J

Monday, February 14

Valentines day Music monday

I don't think there has been a Music Monday I have worked harder on than this one.
On this special day I searched for the perfect mix of songs about love; all aspects of it... the good and the bad.
I have listened to hours and hours of music to find the perfect collection.


After much deliberation and editing I am really happy with what I have. I decided all I would post today were songs that make me feel loved, happy, vulnerable and ... well... you know (wink wink). This collection is authentic and a very good representation of me.


I even threw in a great breakup song (if anyone needs one, or two).


So here is my music Monday for this February 14th!
Enjoy.


J


Juno-All I Want Is You



Better together-Jack Johnson



Ingrid Michaelson- You and I



Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars



This one is perfect if anyone needs a song for a Valentines Burlesque gift tonight ladies.


Michael Buble-Feeling Good



Jason Marz-I'm Yours



Ingrid Michaelson- The Way I am


James Blunt -You're Beautiful


Robin Thicke- Im Lost Without You



For anyone in need of a breakup song, these two are my favorites!


the Script- Breakeven



Beyonce-irreplacable



 Today:


I am grateful for my Valentine's gift. Drew got me fantastic seats to the Knicks game for when we go to NYC. I am thankful he knows me so well.


I am grateful colds do not last forever. I hate being sick.

Saturday, February 12

Today was a bust

It is Teachers convention for the kids which means they have 2 days off school. I had so many fun things planned and it was going to be great, until I woke up sick. It has been a long day and I feel like road kill.

We first tried to go snowboarding, but because the weather has been so nice lately the hill was sheer ice. Ethan did 3 runs and I think it scared him so bad he threw in the towel before he broke an arm or something. The other kids did not even want to try. Ethan (after his first run) literally had to crawl back up the hill because it was so slippery. No fun at all.


So today the dollar store was my saving grace. We went and got a few play toys and spent the rest of the afternoon shooting each other, watching T.V. and eating pretzels until Drew got home to be the more responsible parent. Don't judge me. Nora dressed up as a pirate and the boys made her walk the plank over and over and over, while I sat on the couch coughing and watching PVR'd Oprah.

We did do one thing today that was kind of special and neat. Ethan has a "Special friend" at school and he asked if he could get her something for Valentines day. At first I was reluctant, but I figured this is going to happen eventually, so I decided I might as well accept it and be happy he is allowing me to be a part of it rather than it being behind my back. He gave me permission to take a picture of the bracelet he picked out himself from the mall, but I am not allowed to say anything else.
Sigh.... my boys are getting older and I can do nothing to stop it.


Then we made Seth's 100 day shirt for school (all his idea) it was better then his first idea, "we could put 100 stamps all over my arms"...uh NO!


Drew is home now, with pizza for the kids and soup for me. So I can crawl onto the couch and die.

J

Today:

I am grateful to Heather who picked me up my very own paraffin wax to melt in my extra crock pot and use whenever I want to!!!!!


I am grateful for lotion covered Kleenex. It feels so much better then TP on my nose.

Friday, February 11

Another day of tomfoolery at physio!

I have been a lover of pranks my entire life. I love thinking pranks up, I love executing pranks on others, and I happily applaud a successful prank on me. I could probably fill three whole pages with stories of the pranks I've pulled on other people, from hiding dead fish throughout my friends apartment to dead gophers in cars to drawing lines on people's faces to hiding in lockers to scare janitors. Pranks are fantastic!

When I was an EMT my partner Adrian and I used to prank other rigs (ambulances) by putting packages of muco jelly (used to insert catheters, it was water soluble, really thick, and a bugger to get off) on other crews door handles and on the windshield wipers.
Once I took another medics toothpaste from his locker, squirted it all out into a bowl, mixed it with high concentration Lidocaine (a freezing agent), then used a 60cc syringe and squirted it back into the toothpaste tube. Every morning for the next few days he would come out of the bathroom complaining something was wrong with his toothpaste and say that his tongue was numb. He was a really grumpy guy so it made it even funnier.
One time Adrian put Lasix in another medic's coffee before they left on a flight. Lasix is a water pill which makes you pee like mad for the whole day. The reason it's funny is because when you are doing medivacs you can only pee in bags while in the air. Clearly you can see why this makes it even funnier! Possibly cruel, but hilarious.

One of the best pranks pulled on me was when a friend hid a open can of tuna under my bed while I was at work in the middle of the summer (a 12 hour shift).
When I got home I could smell it the second I opened the door to the house. It took me hours to find where it was hidden. And it lingered in my home for days.

So with that preface...

When I went in to physio today and physio guy put me in one of the private rooms I should have guessed something was up. I got the regular heat on my lower back as I read through a trash magazine; its a nice way to lead up to the agony and torture. 


When physio guy came in and started massaging my back, we chatted about my blog (I love that he asks about it but seldom reads it, so I get to say anything I want about him) and about what is new with me.


Then he says a little quieter, J, I have a student with me today.
Ooh, that is nice, his last student was delightful. She never hurt me and we got along really well.
He says, it's a guy,  I am going to start something, can you follow my lead?
HELL to the YES I CAN!!! 
I am always in the mood for a good prank. I love pranks! 


So I am face down on the bed, wearing a hooded sweater and physio guy has pulled my hood over the back of my head so you could not see my face, ears or skin.
The student comes in and Physio guy introduces him to me.
The student says hi, and I respond with a muffled hi.


Physio guy begins,
Well this is Joelle, she was attacked by a bear last year and we have been working on her back and head.
The student giggles.
Physio guys says to me, very seriously, "was it two bears Joelle or just one?"
I am dying inside, but I will not wreck this gag with PG.
There were two bears there, but only one got me.
The student is speaking in an awkward way now, you can hear he is backpedaling. I wish I could have seen his face.
OOh sorry, I thought this....I ....sorry. He stays quiet now.


PG pulls my hood down while he continues to explain the fictional injuries to the back of my head and left side of my face (I am still face down). He then explains to the student some things he wants the student to practice on the base of my skull with a tuning fork.  
PG touches my back and says, Joelle, I am going to leave the student with you, will you be okay. I'm frantically trying to figure out what horrible thing to introduce to the gag when it pops into my head... bedwetting.  That would be awkward!
I reply, well last time the tuning fork made my ears ring, and I had a seizure. But I doubt I will have another accident.
The student is silent.
I say to PG, should you put a blue pad down just in case?
He says no, but says to the student, "you have seen a seizure before, right?"
The student awkwardly and slowly says yes.
The poor kid... then PG leaves.


The student begins working on my skull (which I have never had any work on before so I have no idea what to expect); he is being very gentle which is not normal for physio guy. PG normally digs elbows and wrists into my back/muscles/joints so I know this guy was nervous!
There is a very awkward silence in the room.
So I ask him how he likes school.
He says it's good, he likes this physio place.
Then he says, I am sorry about before when I laughed... I thought PG was being funny.
I said, it's okay. It is a crazy story, so I get it. I'm used to people laughing at me.


He finishes working on my head, and moves to my hip. PG pops his head in and asks how I am.
I ask again if we should get a pad down in case I have an accident because I would be embarrassed.
I can feel this kids tension.
PG says no, he will be back in a minute to check on me.


When that exercise is done, PG comes in and and sends the student out to help PG Lenny before telling me to roll onto my back.
We both start quietly laughing a bit; he tells me he almost laughed when the student came out and told him how bad he felt for laughing at me.
Then he said he is going to have the student come and do some leg stretches with me, but before he calls him back in to the room he grabs a facecloth and covers my face (for my facial injuries). I uncover half so I can see his awkward looks.
The kid comes in and I can feel his eyes on me.


He says, so if this hurts let me know okay?
I assured him I would.
I can feel a nervous tension in the room.
I say, Sorry I have my eye covered because I am still self conscious, I lost my eye and the plastic surgeons are still fixing the mess so kids don't run screaming when they see me.
He says with a nervous chuckle... they don't really do that.
I told him my kids did for the first couple of weeks.  He VERY awkwardly says "Oh. They did?"
I told him it happened during a rock climbing trip; a bear attacked me while I was climbing.
All he keeps saying is "Ooh."


He says "you have kids?" in an attempt to change the subject (I think).
Yes, 4.
Wow, I would never have guessed (I was very flattered, I have lost 12 pounds so far, so that was nice to hear), I almost feel bad about this prank now that he has complimented me... almost.
When we finish the stretch he goes to another patient. PG comes in.
I can not help but giggle now. This poor guy.


PG says we are going to do IMS today, then he says we should put down a blue pad to freak him out and make him really think you are going to pee your pants.
PG starts the needles and begins explaining to this poor student that IMS can cause a serious reaction and I more often than not seize and have an accident. I can almost feel his eyes burning in my back waiting for me to have some type of reaction.  I could barely contain myself. I seriously for a brief moment considered peeing my pants to add to the facade, but obviously there was a 200-1 vote against in my head and I didn't.  


When it was all done, and I was laying with a heating pad on my back, the student comes in and asks if I am okay.


I remove the heating pad and sit up on the table, look at him and jump off (he hadn't seen my face yet this whole time) - he looked confused. Then he turns to PG questioningly and of course PG is smiling and laughing.


I smile, grab my jacket and purse and tell him not to ever believe these guys here, ever!


He sits down, red faced and keeps saying "Are you serious?"


As PG and I are both laughing really hard, I zip up my jacket, smile and say as I'm leaving "ooh and I DO NOT pee my pants!"


PG told me to take a picture of the plastic pee protector covered bed for my blog.  You're so thoughtful PG.

This is the poor student a few minutes after we let him in on the prank and his face is still really red.  I cleverly disguised his true identity because even though he gave me permission, I wouldn't want to embarrass him. He was a good sport and I can't wait until my next visit. 
Poor guy!
I have a feeling he might need to get used to this type of ribbing while on practicum there! 


Today:


I am grateful for the good laugh today. I will be giggling about this one for weeks.


I am grateful English Sam watched our children so we could go to Seth's meeting at school. 


I am grateful for the amazing teachers Seth has. 


Also, I am grateful I don't actually pee my pants when I get IMS. 


J

Thursday, February 10

THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END!!!!!

I feel like I need to start this blog post by standing on top of my roof wearing a brightly painted cardboard sign (front & back) banging my pots together and yelling "THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END! PREPARE NOW!"  Here's why...

After I got my hair cut tonight I stopped off at Walmart to pick up some lotion for my dry hands and legs.
Yes it does seem like just the other day I was getting my hair cut; that's because it was.

I have 2 inch long hair and it does not take long for it to become unruly and in need of a trim. Not to mention the fact that I have grey hair (thanks for those genes Julie and Mary), which needs to be coloured regularly so I can keep up the facade of a youthful put-together not rapidly aging 32 year old woman with four children. Awesome.

While I was at Walmart I needed to get lotion and an Archie comic for Ethan; as I turned down the book isle  to my horror I saw the sign that the world is coming to an end.
I was frozen... jaw open; I had no idea what to think. I started to feel lightheaded and dizzy, confused and in disbelief...
This is what I saw - the clear and indisputable sign the world is rapidly coming to its end! I don't know... maybe we have weeks left? Maybe a month or two?


I think the idea of starving children, homeless people with no running water or food and the lack of universal health care was momentarily shoved aside by the horrific devastation I felt when I realized that SNOOKI wrote a book...with words... and more than 4 pages...and it wasn't something to colour.

I feel sick to my stomach.

What could possibly be in here? The optimal position to lie in a tanning bed? I don't know what's more confusing... the fact she could write a book or the fact that somebody would spend money on it.

I think I'm going to go stockpile some granola bars, powdered milk, water and batteries and go sit in my basement and wait for the third rock from the sun to blow up.

Maybe I will actually welcome the worlds end if this is what people are reading.

Bewildered,

J

For the record, no I did not read even a little... GASP... but I think I know what physio guy is getting at my next visit!!!

Today:

I am super-duper grateful for paraffin wax!!! My hands feel human again.

I am grateful the students at the bake sale loved my chocolate suckers. It made me feel good, but even more..

I am grateful my boys were proud their mom made the chocolate suckers that were such a hit.

I am grateful for Matt and Melissa who gave excellent advice for our trip to NYC and Matt saved us $400. High five to you guys!! Thank you!!!

I am grateful that I cannot keep enough books in this house because our boys are such avid readers.  I can honestly say I'd never read a book from cover to cover until I was in grade 4 or 5 (thank you Mrs. Fuel) - the first book I ever read was "Cowboys don't cry" - I love that our children devour books.

Side note - When I asked my husband to sit down and proofread this post, he saw the picture and actually asked if I bought this book tonight.  I don't even know what to say about that.

Wednesday, February 9

Screaming for suckers

For the last week or so I have been making chocolate suckers for the boys valentines (for their classes) and to donate to the school bake sale to raise money for some really important cause... I have no idea what it's for, but it's super important and worth my time.  Truthfully I just needed a project of some sort to get my mind off of how long this winter has been.  So I thought to myself, find the most difficult time consuming thing to do - make chocolate suckers - and do that.  But anyway....
Every night I make a batch or two, and needless to say the children have been in heaven. They sneak them when I am not looking and get very upset when I say no.
The other night when I called my sister in law Kelly to chat, Nora asked for a sucker.
"No honey, its almost dinner."
"I want one though."
"Sorry, no."
Nora walks away

I resume chatting with Kelly
Nora comes back.
"I want a sucker!" A little more demanding and a little louder.
Sorry Kelly, hold on a second...
"Nora no, It is almost dinner."
She walks away again.

I frequently have these little battles of will against my three year old. Some times they result in her laying on the ground kicking her feet.  Sadly for her I have had more practice at being stubborn, but she does hold her own well.

I am right in the middle of describing something to Kelly when Nora returns and does this.


And yes, she did it long enough for me to grab my phone and take a picture of it.
Kelly is laughing on the other end...
Sorry Kelly, I will need to let you go and deal with this.

Honestly, she is going to be one powerful force to be reckoned with when she gets older. Watch out world! Who am I kidding, watch out me!  I think we are going to start saving her dowry right now to make sure it's a  good one.

J

Today:

I am grateful Drew worked from home today so I could go do the mom helper thing again for Seth's field trip to the Space Science Center.

I am grateful that the curator at the Telus World of Science didn't notice that I fell asleep during the video presentation on the field trip.  In my defense it was a very comfy, reclining chair in a warm room and they turned off the lights so we could look at stars.

I am grateful that my husband and I still talk.

Tuesday, February 8

Open mouth, insert foot

For the most part I believe that my ability and willingness to chat with anyone and everyone about anything is a blessing. I enjoy conversation and will strike them up at any time.  I pride myself on being able to make anyone feel comfortable, and crazy enough, most people respond to me in a positive way and welcome my chit-chatting.


I can be witty and I always have a response to any situation. I seldom (if ever) leave a situation regretting something said, or wishing I had said something different..... seldom.


There have been a few cases in my life where what came out of my mouth was so ridiculous and awful that I shutter and shake my head when I replay it in my head. This has happened a few times in my life, and thinking about any of them even after years, still makes me cringe.


Today was one of those days.


It is once again freezing here in Alberta Canada. So cold in fact I needed to wear my big winter jacket.  The moment I stepped outside I gasped it was so cold. Nora and I had to bundle up because we had to go have a meeting with the boys principal at the school to talk about Seth going there next year.
After our meeting Nora and I ran to the store to pick up odds and ends we need for lasagna tonight. Once we gathered our things, we went to the only open till which was the till near the front doors.  As I was unloading my things the doors would open and a nasty awful gush of freezing cold air would waft in. This happened a few times and I was thinking to myself, what a horrible and torturous work space for this poor lady. I though, if this were my job I would demand moving. I would demand they let me wear a jacket and gloves, and have constant hot chocolate served to me. I would want one of those space heaters for my feet. Of all the tills she could work at they put her here?


So as I look up to pay, another gust of freezing comes in and I shiver, assuming/ forgetting she has not participated in the on going conversation in my head that I have had for the last few minutes, she says to me, Is that everything?
I answer yes, thank you.
Then... here it comes....
I say, "Man your job would suck."
She looks up at me not impressed and a little offended.
Ooh, I mean with all the cold air coming in on you.... I mean location....I mean because you don't have a sweater....
She just glares at me.
I feel like crap, that is not at all what I meant.
I smile a little...."I'm sorry, that is not at all what I meant."
She says, its not that bad, she stands over there when it gets really cold (pointing to a different till)
I grab my things and smile back and leave.
Nice Joelle, really nice...man you can be an idiot.
Why do I have to talk to everyone?


J


Today:


I am grateful that woman at Safeway did not punch me. Really, really grateful!


I am grateful for my Tech-y husband. Man he brings home cool and weird things I really do not understand. But when he explains them they sound like they are off the Jetsons or James Bond.


I am grateful for the creative minds of our children. I love it when the kids do art projects. On Sunday Nora drew a portrait of  Drew,  I'd say she pretty much nailed it!




And this one is of our family.