Wednesday, January 12

Our First Trip To The ER In 2011

If anyone has read the "About Me" section of my blog, I made a comment that our family averages at least 1 trip to the emergency room at a hospital every month.... and I am staying true to my word for 2011. 


The night was done, teeth had been brushed and we were just about to say family prayer when Nora comes running into the living room and attempts a triple sow cow jump on to the Jiggle fat machine, but misses and her toe catches the side and she goes head first into one of my potted plants. I was not looking at her when this occurred; I actually had momentarily turned my head and was rolling my eyes because I thought "why is family prayer time never calm" then I hear the roar of Nora's carnal screams and Drew yelling, "She cracked her head open!"


At this moment in the story I am going to remind some of you, and inform the others who don't know Drew and I's past work experience... Drew is an actual Paramedic, and once upon a time I was an EMT. 
So in essence we are/were trained professionals in emergencies. We should (key word being should) be capable of handling any situation with grace, calm and a steady hand......


I will continue the rest of my story. And I swear every part of this story is true!


I had not even looked at Nora when I heard her cries, and Drew yell about her head. I have been a mother to boys long enough that I know what certain cries mean, and I knew if Drew was yelling too, it meant it was a gooder. And by gooder I mean there is blood, and I swear to you I can tell when there is blood by the tone of the cry.


I hauled it up the stairs taking 2 at a time grabbing wash clothes out of the linen closet and came back down stairs. Drew had moved Nora from the living room into the kitchen and that's when I saw the 1 1/4 inch gash on Nora's head. It was gushing blood as all head injuries do. 


This is the part of the story where the two highly trained professionals really start to shine. 
I hand Drew the wash clothes and he angrily says, DRY I need something DRY. 
A little stunned I said WHAT? Dry what?
He says, I need something Dry!
Okay then go get something dry?!  So Drew takes off running. Neither of us are acting very cool right now.
Then I look at it again and I said, Lets call the ambulance. 
Drew yells "NO!" again with a little anger in his voice?
Not really sure why, but whatever, I am still holding Nora's head and I say to Ethan. Grab my phone; it's on the counter.
I figured I am going to need someone to come watch the kids so we can go to the hospital with Nora.
Ethan gets the phone, I explain to him how to unlock it - he is such a good boy and is totally calm.
He unlocks it, I reach down to hit contacts and Drew returns and yells NO AMBULANCE, grabs the phone and throws it on the counter. 
WHAT THE HECK BUDDY?? 
Very annoyed with my irrational  husband, I leaned over and kicked him like any good partner would. 
I asked what are you doing? 
He says WE DON'T NEED AN AMBULANCE.
I said, I heard you I was calling English Sam to watch the kids. 
"Oh." is all he said back.


He is now holding Nora's head and I grab my phone again and run out to start the truck because Drew has decided us two nuts jobs will be driving our daughter to the hospital. (Lucky Girl)
I grab my keys, open the door and run across the yard while dialing Sam's number. She answers and I can hardly breath due to the horrific shock I am in because I forgot to put boots on before running outside to start the truck in waist high snow. Oh and I am in shorts because I was going to start my workout once the children were in bed. 
Sam answers, I gasp from the cold "can you come over and watch the kids" then I hang up after she says yes and I lean in, start the truck and bolt (still barefooted) into the house.


Once in the house my feet instantly start to sting when the heat hits them. 
I run upstairs again to grab a blanket to wrap Nora up in and her stuffed horse Maximus and I run back down the stairs and go to put the blanket around Nora (with the force of a frantic lunatic) and smash Drew in the face with my elbow. 


...oops - he kind of deserved it though.


Nora's all wrapped up, I grabbed my purse and phone, Drew grabbed his iPad for movies, and we told the boys to wait for Sam, she would be here in a minute. 


Just to clarify, you might be wondering why we grabbed the iPad.  Even though we are complete psychopaths during the emergency, we have done this enough that we know we will be there for hours and it is imperative that we have entertainment for the children.


We head to the truck and off to the hospital, I have no jacket BTW and it's -25 (celsius) out.


The ride was good, we were a little more calm when we got to the emergency room. Nora was no longer crying, so that helped. 
She asked Drew to put on Sponge Bob Square pants and ironically, it was the episode that squidworth (??) gets smashed in the face and goes to the doctors. 


We were only there waiting for an hour because it was so deep; she did really well and laid calm while he stitched her up. The cool thing was that he stitched all the muscle on the inside but crazy glued the outer layer to help with scarring. 


Drew holding Nora's gash together so it doesn't gape open, revealing the inside of her head.  Which made me a little queasy seeing. Way to go EMT Joelle! And for the record, it's different when it's your own kid. I'm way better at this when it's someone else.
(The pink hair is from the blood dye job)
The blue elastics in her hair are the bottoms of the gloves Drew is wearing - I  used to do this when I worked for the ambulance and needed an elastic to tie my hair on the way to a call.


Poor little girl is going to be black and blue all over.


The Dr. was awesome and let me lay and hold her while he stitched her up!

When it's all said and done, his neurological assessment on Nora was that she clearly had no problems, because she is only three and was using an iPad with no trouble and complete ease.  


Drew and I never did work well together, even "back in the day." We don't even play board games together very well. It is amazing to me how two people as capable as we both are individually, are a complete gong show when under pressure and have to work together. 


Perhaps that will be a requirement for my next husband. That and money.


Today:


I am grateful we got a good doctor and nurse tonight. The last time I was at the hospital was when Seth slid down the banister with his arm and got a 2 inch sliver. They had to knock him out to remove it and that nurse was not as nice. Actually she was horrible. 


I am grateful that with 100% certainty there will be yet another "incident" where Drew and I will be forced to work together in a difficult situation and possibly get good (meh), better (uhh).... there will be more opportunities to practice. I am not holding my breath, but I know it will happen (more than likely in the next 30 days or so).


I am grateful for friends who run to help in an emergency. 
Thanks lady.


J


Can you even believe I was worried I wouldn't have something to write about tonight?

4 comments:

The Straights said...

AAAWWWWW poor Nora! Joelle, you guys are freaking hilarious! I laughed out loud at the thought of you guys running around (only because Dave and I have done the same thing) I love the part where Drew throws and phone and you kick him!!!
I stopped laughing when I saw the pics though... poor little miss, she really did a job on her little noggin... how are your feet btw?

Sam and/or Monika said...

oh poor nora! yes, we can also totally relate! glad she's okay now.

Amy said...

Sounds like you handled it like any of the rest of us ;)... probably better because you remembered the ipad! Poor Nora.

figandfennel said...

Oh my GOODNESS! I don't know how you do it! Just READING about that little adventure nearly sent me into anxiety attack mode. So glad to hear she's ok, and that you guys are so brave and resilient!