Last night she stayed up 2 hours past her bed time because of Halloween and was miserable for most of today. So I assumed she would be so tired tonight, that bed time would be a breeze.
Well you know what assuming does.
Honestly, its days/nights like these that I feel like having children should be something you need to decide after at least 43 sessions of counseling. You apply and then go through all these tests and quiz's. DNA tests and mental health questionnaires. Only after you have done all this, do you get to move to the "pretend doll" test. That's when you have one of those dolls they give teenagers to practice being responsible. The ones that cry randomly. The ones you feed, change and everything you do is monitored with the computer inside. Only I think you should have it for at least a month and not just over night. Then when you have passed all this the councillor says yes or no to whether they think reproducing is a good idea for you or not.
Honestly, I am not sure how I would have scored on most of that type of testing.
Right now I feel stressed, I have a headache, my shoulders hurt, my eyes are blurry and I am tired of listening to her cry. Why do some days go so well, and others make me feel like this is an impossible task that will never end. I hate getting frustrated with the children, I absolutely hate it. It is something I detest about myself, yet every once in a while I morph into someone that is a mix between Rosanne Barr and Peggy Bundy. When all I want to be is June Cleaver and Martha Stewart (pre-jail time).
Why is this job so hard, and why is this job so thankless. Why does this job pay so horribly.
I realize the only mother I will ever be is me, and truthfully I have improved loads from when I first had a baby. I was a nightmare then. I had some demented idea of what a "good" mother was. I don't think I was very kind to other mothers that had more children then me either. I remember thinking "my child would never do that"
That was because my 2 month old didn't "do" anything, so of course he was perfect, and I was the perfect mother... gag.
Now I have four, one of which actually urinated himself to win $10 in a dare this weekend. True story!! And Ooh I am so proud. It amazes me that I am not a raging alcoholic.
All I want to do is go sit beside mothers now and give them a hug, and say "hang in there, you are doing a great job!"
oooh, can you hear that.... neither can I.... she is finally asleep. I am off to bed.
I am grateful for my kind neighbors, one had Nora and I over for lunch and another had us over for a visit. It was so nice.
I am grateful my Family had so much fun this weekend
And I am grateful we did not get egged this year.
|I had a Viking, a Jester, Yoda, a kitty and Drew's Nephew is the Monkey.|
|Also, All the stores were sold out of pumpkins, so Drew improvised. I love the watermelon.|