Friday, November 5

What would you say to yourself?

Today was not my favorite day. My back is really sore and I went to physio again today to work on it. I had an appointment last night as well.

I feel like this is going to take forever. I know Physio is making things better, it really is, but I sometimes feel like I am taking 3 steps forward, then 1 step back. I guess that is my fault for waiting for so many years before getting help with my back so I can't expect it to be better in 3 weeks. But I wish it would.

After I was finished physio today I went and spent the afternoon with Melanie and Michelle. We were listening to the radio and the conversation they were having was, if you could, "What would you say to the 16 year old you?"

It really made me think. I knew the second I heard the question that I wanted to write about it tonight.
The idea of being able to go back and sit with a younger you is so powerful, stupid, and thought provoking all at the same time. Thoughts just flooded my mind....

The things I would say to my 16 year old self would be;

  • What on earth are you doing with your hair?! And STOP it immediately. (What I wouldn't give to be able to sneak my 16 year old self a flat iron & leave in conditioner back then).
  • I would explain to myself the concept of proper fitting jeans.  And how baggy jeans do not look nice on girls.
  • I would take myself bra shopping and get myself a good, supportive, beautiful bra.  Because the girls belong lifted and separated; not bunched into a uni-boob.
  • Stop wearing your fathers sweaters - they are not cute.  He is a XXL-Tall and you are a size M-Petite.  You look ridiculous.
  • It's OK to own more than one pair of shoes - running shoes are not appropriate with every outfit.  And stop wearing boy t-shirts!!!!!
On a more serious note, I would say to myself:

  • Be kinder to yourself. You are not the ugly girl you think you are, and stop telling yourself that. It is not true. You are really pretty, and you won't appreciate how nice you look now until after you have children. But trust me, 16 year old J has a great body.
  • Stop thinking that you are ugly. Stop selling yourself short.  And stop hurting yourself to try and make yourself thin.  
  • You do not need to kiss a boy to have them like you. You have more to offer. You are better than that.
  • Hang out with your friends more, you have very good friends, and you should spend more time with them.  You are going to be friends with them for many many years - they are good people.  
  • That boy you are with is nice, but you are not right for each other, so maybe end it now before anyone gets hurt.  You aren't as mature as you think you are for this type of relationship.  
  • Look for boys who you enjoy spending time with and who are funny.  Personality matters more than looks or athletic ability.  
  • Travel!  Go places! It will matter to you when you are older.  There is a great big world out there to explore.  And so many experiences to have.  
  • Do things that scare you.  They don't have to be dangerous, just try new things.  
  • Try harder in school.  And don't be so afraid to join the drama club because I know how much you want to but are too afraid of what people will think.  You are a very funny girl and you will do really well there.
  • Don't be embarrassed of the fact you mix up numbers.  It's not that big a deal.  Just tell your teachers and stop hiding it by jacking around in class and pretending you don't care.  You are very smart girl and it's OK to ask for help.
And lastly, I don't mean to scare you, 16 year old J, but one day you are going to have four children.  So you might want to babysit once in a while to have an idea as to what is involved in taking care of children.  And practice cleaning up puke and poo.  'Cause you are going to do a lot of that.



I am grateful for my dear husband who understood that I needed to have a night off when he came home and found me crying because my back hurt so bad.  

I am grateful I found a sweater dress tonight that looks great and I finally have something to wear over tights with boots.

I am grateful tomorrow is a new day. 


Robyn Brown (Wahlund) said...

Where did you find your sweater dress?? I keep thinking I want one but haven't really looked too hard...

J said...

I got my Sweater Dress from H&M.

Monika Crowfoot said...

loved this. made me think. this is my most favorite post.

Anonymous said...

I love this too. I'm going to think about what I would say to my highschool self...