Now it's really winter.

Although we did get a little snow a few weeks back, it did not really count. Unless Snow stays on the ground for more than 3 days it is not yet considered winter. This definition matters, because we have had snow in July. So once it melted and we had Halloween, to us, it was still fall. 


Now today it is really winter to me. Winter jackets, toques, mittens and snow boots were required for the walk to school today. It was -12 degrees celsius and felt like -19 with the wind (in Fahrenheit that is -2). Truthfully I don't know how it can be one temperature but feel different to an exact degree with the wind, but that's what they say on the radio.

The drive was ridiculous, and because I was told by the lab tech yesterday that I might have to re-do one of Seth's tests I decided not to drive all the way back to town right away, but wait about an hour or so until the tech called. I lingered around Seth's school killing time until I was told it was okay to go home. 


To kill time Nora and I went to Value Village (a second hand charity store) and went treasure hunting. 
I found this:

It is to make doughnuts. So you can bake them and not fry them in oil. I have actually been looking for one of these for weeks now, I was super excited. 
With it I made these (later in the evening). The recipe for these I found in Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife), which I was given by my Friend E. Crowfoot last Christmas.  I have 3 out of 4 eaters willing to try anything but with Ethan I have to get creative. So in this cookbook she hides a lot of veggies. For the doughnuts I used pureed pumpkin and baby food sweet potatoes. While I was making them Ethan came downstairs to see what was going on. Nora was still up because she had to show Drew her nails (he had been out of town all day), so they both got to have a taste. Seth heard the party and came upstairs too. Bless Gabe, he was sleeping. 
I was nervous, but they all really really liked them. Seth even said he would rather me make these for his class instead of cupcakes next week for his birthday. Which I think speaks volumes!

Sorry, back to my day....


 I also picked up extra toques and mittens (because my children always lose theirs).

This is a toque.  There are different variations, but this is the basic.

When we were given the a-okay to head home we went to pick up our pottery that we had painted last week with our friends. Nora had made this unicorn:

And I had made this butter dish:

After we picked up the pottery I had a hair appointment
I had this done (I love hair days):

While Nora had that done (in case you could not see them she put them extra close):

It has been a very long, cold and snow covered day.


J


unrelated to painted nails...


I am a fairly unemotional person. I have, over the years, developed a talent of taking emotions that might be appropriate for a situation and putting them in a proverbial box (which would be brightly coloured and look very pretty of course), taking that box and putting it on my proverbial  emotions shelf (which would also be an attractive piece of old English furniture). I store these boxes and pretend they don't exist. I have done this most of my life and just dealt with things using humor, rather happily in denial. 


I am finding since my post on Sunday, which was obviously semi personal, that some of these proverbial boxes are throwing themselves (kamikaze style) off their shelves and forcing me to deal with what is inside. Some of the stuff that is surfacing right now has so much dust on it I can hardly recognize it. Yet the feelings are as raw as the day things happened.
When I am feeling safe, and in safe company I am bursting into tears out of nowhere and needing to talk. 
I am wondering how long this headache filled Kleenex wasting blurry eyed so I can't drive emotionally draining process will last, but I am actually feeling a little lighter which is ironic because since my back has been bothering me again I've actually put on a few pounds.


Today:


I am so very grateful for the support I have been getting from all over. Thank you. I'm also grateful for lotion covered Kleenex so my nose will not be chapped and bleeding.


I am grateful my butter dish turned out alright. 


I am grateful these doughnuts taste amazing. I am always so thrilled when the children love what I make. I feel very accomplished and joyful when my family has good healthy food in them.