Friday, June 11

His and Hers

I picked up the mail and when I got into the house to open it, to my surprise, I found his and hers matching speeding tickets. One of Drew's car, and one of my truck,taken in the same spot four hours apart.We were both going the exact same speed too.

I immediately looked on the calendar to see what on earth we were doing that day, and I noticed it was the second of June, and the day came flooding back to me.

My wonderful husband Drew decided this summer was going to be the summer we got a camping trailer, and he has been madly looking all over the world for one that is perfect for our family and within our price range (I bet he has read through about 100 different adds.)

Not an easy order seeing how it needs to sleep 6, work really well, not leak when it rains, and be within the free99 range.

But one day Drew found one he felt might fit the bill, so he says to me he wants me to go see it.

The day went something like this,

Drew: “Please go see it Joe”

J: “Drew, the guy said he has been LIVING in it for the last 5 years and smoking in it the entire time” I am NOT wasting my time:

Drew: “He said every time he smoked he had the vents opened”

J: “Drew, I Grew up with two parents that were smokers, they also think if you eat a piece of gum after smoking that no one can tell”

Drew: “well, we could just wash everything”

J: “You are not serious?”

Drew: silence...which I know means he knows I am right, but he does not want to fold, so i decided to not be a jerk....

J: “okay, I will go LOOK, I am not making any promises”

Drew: “Thank you, I will go look at it this morning and I will text you the directions so you can see it after”

J: “Alright, but if it smells really bad tell me and I will not waste my time”

Drew: “I will”

J: ”How much is he asking for it”

Drew: ”$1,200.00”

So after I get back from Physio I talk to Drew on the phone and he assures me it wasn’t “that bad” of a smell.

I reluctantly agree to go, thankfully Sariah says she wants to come with me.

So we drive the HOUR to the camp ground and I am greeted by a very grumpy woman who points out which way to go.

I pull up to the trailer and Sariah and I get out.

I walk up to it, and already can smell a faint nauseating odour before I even open the door.

Sariah is 3 steps back and off to the side, I open the door and am instantly slammed in the face with a smell I have not smelled in years.

My eyes are burning and watering, and I am transported back in time to the first time I walked into a home where a dead body had been rotting....I wretch,

I step into the trailer, walk 2 steps, look around and wretch again. Nope I was wrong, it does not smell like a dead body, it smells like that time my old Paramedic partner and I had to pick up a woman who had an abscess on her stomach and it had opened and was leaking puss all over her house for 2 days before calling the ambulance....

I wretch again

This is way worse than just smoke, I open the bathroom door just to confirm there is not actually a dead body in here,

I see Sariah is still outside, I said “Are you going to look at it?”

Sariah says,”No, I will sleep in a tent”

I can’t take it anymore, I get out and back to the truck.

I feel light headed, and really grossed out. I am trying very hard to calm the boiling rage I am feeling for my clearly sensory deprived husband.

We drive another hour back home and I struggle the entire time to not call Drew and give him a piece of my mind....

On the way home I find a trailer parked on the side of the road with a for sale sign in it. I pull over, call the guy and make arrangements to meet with him later that night. He tells me he just put it there that morning.

I return later at 6:30, and see it. It’s wonderful AND CLEAN. The very nice man says he will hold it for us until the following night so Drew can see it when he returns home from his out of town work trip.

Bada bing bada boom, $300 later...we own a trailer. Thank you, Thank you, that's how you get things done.

.....9 days later.... the additional $178 we now owe the police because my husband can’t smell, (and because I speed) Grrrrr



Natasha said...

That is remarkable. The matching speeding ticket thing.

Jude just got a speeding ticket too. I did not reciprocate.

Also, how messed up is it that I'm jealous that I don't know 1) what a corpse smells like and 2) what an oozy abscess smells like? I'm serious. And also funny but don't let it distract you from the seriousness.

Also, my advice is to ditch this stupid captcha thing until you actually have blog spam plaguing you. They're SO annoying!

Amy said...

That sounds like something that would happen to us :)

Keep the stories coming!!

rwiebelove&life said...

lol...that is so funny and I can just picture the whole entire episode! ha ha ha ...come on Drew!